Chewing On Glass…

Tired again today
Ink to paper and I don’t know
What it is I am doing here
Tired again today
Ink to paper and the words
Aren’t coming to me
An empty mind to a rolling start
What is it that I am doing here
Daring to do nothing
Tracing the words into their place
Tired again today
To not just give up on all this
Ink to paper taking up space
More shit to just throw away
More time wasted believing
I had something to say

The more I step away the more I realize I was never really part of it…

The buzzing in my head won’t let up
Like the feeling building in my lungs
I’ve got plenty of ideas that don’t mean nothing
To me, to you, or the demon in the sky
Don’t want these feelings to weigh me down
But what else am I supposed to do?
With thoughts like these
The hammering in my head won’t let up
Like the feeling building in my heart
I’ve got plenty of it, that doesn’t mean anything
To us, to them, or the saint underground
Didn’t mean for these feelings to pull me up
But what else am I supposed to do?
With my wires crossed and my broken thoughts

I don’t feel any more like an adult than you do…

Distracted by all these wants and needs
I want to need less but it doesn’t work
Needing all these wants in me to be here
If I knew what I said
Felt what I said maybe then
I wouldn’t be so much like me
A death sentence or the only way to live
I’m not asking
I need you to tell me
Throwing away all my seconds to live
I want to quit doing that in my head
What then would be the need in me to live
Motivation propagated by these wants and needs
Purpose is a lot harder to come by
Harder than most people give us credit for
Want to believe we are here for a reason
As much as you need to believe we aren’t
I’m not asking
I need you to tell me
These depressive episodes don’t make any sense
To me either…

If for some reason you didn’t see the last post… or maybe it was too long and you gave up half way through like me… I’m back… for how long and what that might mean… don’t know… doesn’t really matter… I’m still here… that should be enough…

Still got a lot of Broken Thoughts to work through… still have plenty of things to say about nothing… So stick around for all the excitement of what that could mean… The next chapter starts now… Hope all is well… because I imagine it’s not about to be…