Chewing On Glass…

None of this is making any sense
When there’s so much I want to say
All at once, not at all, and any way
Staring into another blank wall
How did I do it before? Can’t remember…
Pressure rising and the relief valve broken
Know what I should do, but I don’t
Don’t feel like doing any of it again…
Did this to myself…
Can’t seem to get myself out of this…
Amped up with no place to go
It’s not like anyone gives a shit
If I do or don’t drown myself tonight
The taste of blood replacing the life in me
It’s not what I wanted, but what came to be
For letting these thoughts build up in me
Now I can’t find a way to escape
Can’t find my way out of this place
Did this to myself…
Can’t seem to undo what’s been done…

The shape reminds me of something…

Saw you again today in my dreams
What could that even mean
If it makes no sense to me?
Let me down as the ceiling fell from above
Broken glass scatter across the floor
Seemed fine to me in the scheme of things
EMT’s said everything was how it should be
Some people they just bleed
The parking lot caught fire, but it happens
Someone said it’s a ritual they perform
When somebody else turns up dead
That’s when I saw you walking by
As though nothing you ever do happens
But it does and it’s all stuck in my head
Told me I was the asshole of assholes
The king of not giving a shit about others
Instant replay though proved that was a lie
Because I never broke your heart
The way you destroyed mine for him…
Not sure what that has to say about us
But it feels like plenty enough of a reason
To never have to see your faces ever again
Seems only fair in the scheme of things
You let me down as the ceiling came crashing down
Broken glass scatter across the floor
How it was meant to be…
The EMT’s said everything’s going to be alright
Some people just end up dying more than others
What could that even mean
If it makes all the sense to me?…

No one asked because no one cared until it was too late…

There’s a hidden history beneath your skin
Lies and truths you’ve been keeping secret
Things aren’t the same as they used to be
Too emotional and I can’t seem to see
What is directly in front of me
There’s a look in your eyes that tells me
You’re not ever going to be the person inside
That once told me they’d love me until they died

I’m sure by now I’m only preaching to the choir… But if one has to assume… then we are all a bunch of asses… and you might very well be me… not as clever sure… but the point is pretty much still the same…

Most of these thoughts are written over the course of months… the drafts at least… then I rewrite and work them for the website… and once again for the books… Anyone who writes knows the importance of drafts… and rewrites… Know even more about sobering up over something they once thought was great… but now just seems ok…

But every now and then… Every so often… inspiration sticks its hand up my ass and uses me like a puppet… No… that can’t be the correct way to say that… Every so often… inspirations hits me and asks me where’s the money… Somehow… that seems closer… but still isn’t it…

I guess it doesn’t really matter… From time to time inspiration stops by for a visit… and we do hands stuff for a while until stuff comes out… By that I mean one of these thoughts didn’t go through the usual drafting… editing process… Hopefully it doesn’t show… I’m sure it does…

Leave your guess in the comment section down below… For every correct answer an angel loses its wings and has to mope around like the rest of us on two broken feet… The anticipation is killing me… I’m not a very patient person by nature… That’s a lie… I’m a pretty patient person almost to a fucking fault…

You’d have to be to think of something… write it down… think about it some more… write it back down… and a year later… try to remember why you thought about it in the first place… If that’s not patience… then clearly it is a mental illness…

And lets be honest… I am obviously the definition of someone with a sound mind and an even sounder heart… I mean look at me…

Look past the mask… past the plastic… is that not a face you can trust?… Hope all is well…