Chewing On Glass…

Avoiding what needs to be done
For fear of failure… success… change
Lies I tell myself to stay the same
Burdens I carry with me to never be
More than my dreams could allow
Burying myself further under broken thoughts
An invisible mountain I’m too scared to climb
Some of us really were only born to fail
I’ve proven enough times that is who I am
What it is I expect of me

There’s so little left of me to fade away…

Tore the skin back to see what I’d find
Hollow… empty… so there was nothing there
The blood drips from an endless source
We call it life but I’m not sure what that means
When there’s nothing left inside of here
She took… they took… you take everything
God only knows how empty I feel inside
Thoughts… prayers… wishing it away does nothing
Against the odds the emptiness grows in me
No ones looking for a hero without a face
No one wants anything close to what I’ve become
A villain with too much shit to say all at once
Digging through what’s left and nothing is all it is
Hollow… empty… who I am to do this to myself
The thoughts leak through open wounds
We call it life but I’m not so sure that’s what it is
When there’s nothing left inside of here
God only knows how empty I truly feel inside
Thoughts… prayers… can’t save me from this
Against what’s been done the emptiness only grows

With the changing landscape that is our lives… It is harder than anyone might believe to stay relevant… stay with it… This summer so far has proven to be one of the harder ones that I have had in a while… Better than sitting around doing nothing I suppose…

Been trying to catch up on movies… or what we as a society have to accept as movies now… growing old is settling in nicely… Mediocrity it seems is the new currency of our time… If that is your thing… mediocrity that is… May I suggest Captain America Brave New World… If you are looking for a real hot take… then I’ve got one for you…

Sinners… though enjoyable… hardly movies the needle once it begins destroying its amazing characters… I’ve seen it twice at this point… and I still can’t see why you shouldn’t see it… or why you should… Offered up as a horror film it falls flat… Offered up as a dramatic period piece… It shines so bright it is often hard to see…

I think as a story teller… it offers up a setting rich in tales that need to be told… With that said I can’t wait to see what Sinners inspires in others rather than a sequel to the film itself… I have deeper thoughts on the many fantastic elements brought to the film… the story… but I’m trying my best not to spoil them for others…

Now on to Nosferatu… was first and foremost a movie that came out… You can watch it with your eyes and everything… Willem Dafoe… well it is Willem Dafoe… I can’t think of a single performance by this man that isn’t great… Even when a movie he is in is a rolling pile of flaming shit… Dafoe manages to prevail… So… there is your dead middle for enjoyment… Your baseline if you will…

Aaron Taylor-Johnson is an actor I can’t stand… but I feel like he did a great job in this… Emma Corrin keeps picking projects that seem amazing until you watch them… A Murder at The End of the World… This pile of shit… The Crown… if I cared enough… I don’t… Then there is good old Bill Skarsgard… I can’t think of someone who wants to be an actor more than him… and that is not an insult…

The amount of passion and effort he puts into any project… is inspiring… I won’t watch the new Crow... but if I ever do… it is because of him and him alone… The man can’t help… but give away a piece of his soul… Which he very much does in this one… Notice that I have been praising actors… and not the film itself… Because the film though very well made… It looks amazing… hands down… does it look amazing…

The film as a whole is an ass backwards retelling of Dracula… There are no twists or turns in this outside of your own knowledge of a century’s old tale… What does that mean?… Beat for beat you know what is going to happen the whole time… oh wait we don’t have the full rights to that… So… trick he isn’t Dracula… he is Count Orlok… A rose by any other name is still a rose… Speaking of Rose…

Lilly-Rose Depp… had a lot of heavy lifting to do for this film… even more so if you sat through the horrific show that was The Idle… If you did you know what I am saying… If you didn’t… Lucky you… Her character in this was well acted… that I can say… her character in this film though… one giant waste of time… when the solution to a nonexistent problem was solvable in the first fifteen minutes of a two hour and twelve-minute film…

Granted most if not all films… stories… could solve themselves in fifteen minutes or less… the skill is to not make it so obvious… So blatantly… that at the end… you are screaming at the screen… Why didn’t you just go with your husband?… That’s all you wanted from the start… That’s all your character needed… That’s all that all the characters needed… Was it because of the time period?…

Your husband went alone on a six-week journey… Who was going to rat his ass out?… How would the powers at be even know?… There aren’t any cellphones… a letter is going to take as long if not longer than the journey itself… There are no video cameras… there is no nothing… Was someone going to draw the two of you arriving on horseback?… Worth the risk in my opinion… But instead… you spend most of the movie crying for literally no reason… and getting everyone killed… for no reason… Was I supposed to care that you die in the end?… Because I didn’t… and I have no clue why I should have…

Should have went on the journey… survived the first encounter with Orlok… Dragged your husband back home… all twenty-nine pounds of you… Nursed his ass back to health… Warned the others that a danger is coming… a danger so real… blah… blah… blah… Everyone ignores you of course because you are a woman… Before you raise a fist… they do this any way… at least make it make sense… Evil shows up… You fight and lose… Barely survive again… Learn you have to sacrifice yourself… Same god damn ending… Print and ship… It took me less than fifteen seconds to think of this… and I wasn’t even trying…

Mediocrity… amazing looking mediocrity… Hard to argue it hasn’t always been this way… Hard to sit here and not reference older films like the old piece of shit that I am now… but… Let me tell you… it used to not be so obvious… so on the nose… that any or all of this is about money… It always has been… and always will be… Movies are a business and like any business the goal is to not lose money… I get it…

But I still look forward to a time where movies are more concerned about telling a story then turning a profit again… I fear that… that time has come and gone… That half-finished movies with only a hint of substance is the new normal… Though I wonder if there ever was such a time… That the way we remember things is not for what they were… but for what we wanted them to be…