Chewing On Glass…

The heart wants what the heart wants
And your heart has never wanted me
Destined to be… disconnected
Fated to be… how it was meant to be
It wasn’t as though I didn’t notice
Tried to prove I was worth more than
You thought of me… faithful to the end
Was it worth it… destined to be
Disconnected… fated to be
How else was this supposed to go
Under a watchful eye of a plan
No one knows…
The heart wants what the soul cannot have
And your love was never meant for me
Endlessly suffering to prove that I tried
Destined to always be… disconnected
Fated to be… how it was meant to be
It wasn’t as though I never noticed
Tried to be everything I could to no end
Just wasn’t any plan for me to follow

It’s a fool’s errand to believe in God…

Wasting away
The time it takes
To live the way they’d like
Wasn’t good enough
Wasn’t enough
Left wasting away
The time I have to give
To live the way it should be
Wasn’t good enough
Wasn’t enough
Stuck here wasting away
The little time I had to live
The way it was supposed to be
Wasn’t good enough
Wasn’t enough
Here wasting away for them
They’d take more if they could
Too bad there’s nothing left
For me to give away

And it’s a fool’s errand to believe that it doesn’t even matter…

I’m not too proud to admit
That I don’t know shit
Sitting around worried about what if
Was turning me sick
No one knows anything more
Then the next two assholes with a thought
Better than? Try not equal to
Check your ego and realize
I’m probably talking about you
Negative people in my life
Like to tell me what to do
They have about as much of a clue
As a blind man without his shoes
The worst of us always know best
Remind you with every chance they get
You want to lead or take everything there is?
Apparently that is good enough for the rest
All I want to know is
When you have it all what’s next?
I’m not too proud to admit
That I never wanted any of this shit
The crap you sell me and believe exists
Standing around thinking about what if
Is making me sick
Ready to move on to the part
Where we throw your worthless ass
Into the deep dark abyss we call time
Think… I know you don’t
Believe… How could you
When every thing not about you
Better than? Try not fucking equal to
A dog licking the shit off its shoes

Here we are tonight of all nights… Having to talk about the same old shit… An endless loop… a deep dark abyss we call time… Religion… Society… Politics… I don’t know about you… but none of it is working… Not for me… Not for most of us… Only for a select few… and it is getting old… I was serious when I asked about what is next…

That’s the part of all of this that drives me insane… takes up most of my thoughts… Left… Right… Center… Red… Blue… Donkey… Elephant… You have it all and what now?… What is your master fucking plan with me now?… That’s all I want to know… Because I’m ready to move the fuck on… A lifetime stuck in the middle of nothing has left me feeling wasted away…

A lifetime of trying to do what is meant to be right for a moment… this week… this month… this year… Has left me completely drained of giving a shit… You want to start the rapture?… Well then lets fucking start it… You want to enslave the population?… Then get the fuck on with it… I’m so tired of defending each decision based around what if when we have fucking records… a god damn history of people trying and failing to do what you are already proposing…

Have we really tried everything?… Run out the clock on every solution?… Or maybe there was a point in time… that things were so great for everyone… that they forgot to write it down?… Lazy good for nothing liberals… enjoying their freedoms too much to write down the results of what a utopia could be like…

Is that it?… Our ancestors found such great peace… that they didn’t even bother to leave around a single clue about what to do?… Because up until about right now… I always believed we learned history… studied history… bothered to write the shit down… so we could learn from our mistakes… The way things are going… Sure as fuck doesn’t even feel close to what we are doing with this information…

At this point toilet paper seems worth more than the constitution… the ten commandments… or any other doctrine we continue to wipe our asses with… Fuck are we doing?… Who the fuck are these people?… These people are so fucking stupid… that I have given up on the theory of intelligence… I’m not too proud to admit that I am stupid… unintelligent bag of shit just wandering around this world… What the fuck does that say about them?…

Pick a fucking lane… and let’s just get on with it… You want it all?… Take it… You want all the power?… You can have it… You want to turn back the clocks?… Turn them the fuck back… You want to be king?… Then be fucking king… But what is next in this perfect little world you’ve created?… Answer me that…

That’s what the fuck I thought… You don’t have an answer… You don’t have a clue… You’ve drained everything down to nothing and yet we are still fucking here… Tonight of all nights… Maybe it is time to finally begin moving on… Evolving to the next step of human evolution… Finally take care of the bottom half and stop worrying so much about the top half… What’s the worst that could happen?…

You want to play a game of what if?… Well… let’s fuck around and find out… It’s not like we can’t always go back to the way things were… Hope all is well… God… the devil… and the rest of you know it isn’t… But fuck it… we are still here… might as well make the best of it… While we can…