Chewing On Glass…

Told myself I was more than
Whatever this was meant to be
A life left wondering
A time spent thinking
Thoughts that don’t add up
To think that any of this could
There comes a time in each of us
When given up and walking away
Couldn’t possibly be the same thing
The thoughts they don’t add up
To believe that any of this should
Isn’t the same thing as believing
Told myself one too many times
But not enough to let it sink in
A life left wondering
A time spent thinking
I’m okay… This is the way it is
Sometimes having the answers
Means knowing nothing at all
Look around… tell me I’m wrong
There comes a time in every one of us
When moving on and giving in
Aren’t even close to the same thing
The thoughts they don’t add up
To believe that any of this should
Isn’t the same thing as believing
Told myself I was more than
Whatever this was meant to be
A life left wondering
A time spent thinking
Been long enough… now is the time
To prove all my thoughts about myself
Were wrong from the beginning
There comes a time in each of us
When it just feels right
When words can no longer define
These dead limb thoughts in our mind
The thoughts don’t add up
To believe that any of this could
Is believing in yourself like you should

Sat down to write out another Broken Thoughts post… If you have been following along… The thoughts have been getting longer and longer… Believed I could chop this one up and added to the stack building up beside me… And I could… but I couldn’t…

There is a laundry list of feelings and emotions running through me as of lately… Some I could get into… Some I should just let die… To say they wouldn’t mean the same if I explained them… Is the same as saying… Not knowing is the same has having the answer… Writing to me at times… is little more than a reflection of the past… Coming through in the present…

For those that know… my process is slow… Even what I’m saying wasn’t written today… What no one may know… is that in that process I conceive… edit… rewrite… rethink… move it all around… add… edit… and present it to you or no one at all… Over and over the cycle continues… Then from time to time… something is written… something comes out of me that even I don’t understand in the moment…

Breaks the mold… destroys the process… and is what it is… This is one of those rare few… that needed no help from conception to completion… Even the title came to me as if out of nowhere… I don’t believe in supernatural things… but even a skeptic can’t deny certain things… Which is to say… I don’t know who needed to read these words… who they were written for… but I can see… that I needed them now more than ever…

Hope all is well…