Something Different

A Constant Ending with an Evolving Beginning

We sleep in a blanket made of darkness
A power will rise that will seem unstoppable
All things eventually fail
The idea was dead before we were ever born
Our history made of lies is catching up
The beliefs we believe have always been false
Told what to do and how to think
An iron curtain so thick no light could ever get through
Guns, God, and government the three G’s
Suffocating us into sleep
The problem isn’t the distraction but each and every one of us
A culture based on greed can’t breed good things
We profit from death yet are afraid to die
The catch 22 is in our advancement
Only problems never solutions
The great nation hasn’t won a war since world war two
Who is to blame when all these generations know nothing better
Peace is paved in bodies
Under God there can be no peace if everyone is wrong
Religion, money, and freedom has become the new evils
Redressed to seem as though this is untrue
There is no God in pain
There is no money in happiness
There is no freedom in death
Only another cause to keep fighting for
America will die and a new evil shall rise
This is how it always works, this is how it is

Into Reality

Lies, lies we tell ourselves to get by
Everyone is standing in their windows
Hoping to get noticed, but everyone is too busy
Ignoring the people in their shitty lives
A generation raised on hiding, despising
Falsified documents made to look like lives
Every ones opinion locked away in a data bank
What did you do today?
Nothing the same as always
Who wants to hear the truth, infliction
What you mean, the words get twisted
Infections, choose properly or be torn down
Shit upon, dragged around and forgotten
This is the world in which we live our lives

Something Different

I Will Find You

I can feel everything come pouring out
A long suicide letter to myself
Stretched out, I’m destroyed
Broken shell leaking out all that is left
If only I had known
If only I was told
Could I have changed my ways
Would I have not succumbed to my fate
I can feel all that there ever was
A long memory of everything
Each thought stabbing to get out
I lost it all
Lost everything I didn’t know
I could lose
My soul is so tormented
By the thought
Digging my own grave
How deep will I dig
How sad must I keep myself
When is it that this all began
At birth
At death
Somewhere in between
The thought haunts me
The thought consumes everything
A long suicide letter to myself
In the end everything left inside
If I could, would I change at all
I thought I knew what I
I thought I understood
What I wanted all along
Gave into the pressure
Drowned by the wave
Ride it all out into the
Into the undertow
Ride it all out into
My grave

Long Before

The blood it drips as it falls
The life fails as it goes on
The end is near
Though it has been all along
The difference between life and death
Is a heartbeat
The soul fades as it goes
The death grows as it goes
The end is near
Though it has been all along
The difference between life and death
Is a heartbeat
The difference between life and death
Is a heartbeat
A heartbeat that no longer seems to feel
Destroy the will and what became left
Soulless but who really knows before it is too late
The difference between life and death
Is nothing more than a heartbeat
The difference between me and you
Is nothing more than a heartbeat
The loneliness, the sadness, the happiness
Is nothing more than a heartbeat away
The heartbeats from within my chest
The life flows from out my wrist
The end is near but it was there long before

Mountain of Questions

The white picket fences have been torn down
From the post to the ground
It all lays flat all around
The existence of dreams proves
There is something more to you and me
The clothes have all but came off
From our heads to our toes
They lay flat on the floor
The fact that we aren’t disgusted yet proves
There is something more to you and me
The marriage is all but gone
Divorce tore everything
Right the fuck out the ground
The anger between us proves
There is so much more to you and me

They say fire lead to life
Then what did love bring to the picture
Some could guess but the true answer is death
We pretend it’s funny because it is
You know it’s sad
But it’s true
If you hold your breath than maybe
That dizzy, sickness feeling won’t go away
Walk it off the pain subsides after
A while if you know anything about bottles
You’ll know they don’t leave any answers
Only a mountain of questions

Something Different

Got There Early
Fuck if I care where this goes
Life dragging me down in either direction
Heaven is full of assholes
What’s that say about hell?
In the long run nobody knows
Dancing with the devil in a long black dress
It’s so easy to say I’m depressed
Condensed to an absent thought
Want to go back to where this all begin
No looking back from here until death
Mind over matter but there’s nothing left
Hearing voices inside my head
Crying out for help but they’re already dead
Slowly getting back at me from the inside
Digging my own grave with every breath

Under Age Sale Prohibited
We can’t change our pasts no matter how hard we try
They say true love is dead and we all know the reasons why
Honesty is the best weapon when telling a lie
Truth cuts deeper than any knife
Breaking apart was so much easier before
The separation is too hard to endure
So unsure about what I mean
Too confused about how I feel
Infused with all the bull shit of me  and you

Hope You Know It
At this rate I’ve gone past insane
My brain wants to escape this cage
Doesn’t matter it will always be the same
Drinking numbs the pain but for how long
Drugs don’t do shit as everyone knows
This whole thing has been dragging on me
For a while, a time before this all
What I want is not what I need
What I need I could never want
Caught between the waves
Craving for something more than nothing at all
Giving up the ghosts was never as easy as it seemed
Haunting sense of what could be

Something Different

Before I’d Known
Suffering to suffer
Choking to drown
Breaking up the thoughts
A list of shit
Counting all the reasons to die
A method of self destruction
Repent for sins uncommitted
Struggling to struggle
Drowning to choke
Shattering the thoughts
A broken mind of shit
Listing out the reasons to live
A method of self deprecation
Forgiving sins uncommitted
Self reliance is masturbation
Playing God is fire
The devil had me before I’d known

 

Nightly Occurrence
My daughter hasn’t slept in years
A contiguous disease that we all fear
Nightly terror that doesn’t leave the mind
No matter how hard she tries she can’t hide
Demons in the dark, figures within the light
Flashes of evil coming for her life
Nightly occurrence with little words
“We are here for your soul my dear.”
A recurring chant faded into whispers
Silence only a child could hear

 

Don’t Say Anything Else
We break ourselves for no reason at all
Life a waiting game of death
Those on top will always be
Built in slavery system
Laughing though there is no air to carry the screams
Sixteen seconds and it’s already all wrecked
Smile for the cameras it will all be over soon
Breeding hatred with every breath
What the fuck did you expect
Your loving arms covered in poisoned thorns
How I missed the days when none of this mattered
How I miss the hope of living at all
Punched ticket to a solo grave
Soulmates or a slow wait

Something Different

Slowly

Carrying the weight of our souls
Backpacking through living hell
I wish for more
But all I get is the same
Cavernous, carnivores
We eat our young
Shit out the old
A machine made of razor blade teeth
The cycle won’t end
For fear that all will be lost
For fear of death
For fear of something different
We think that we know everything
We know nothing beyond despise
The fact we can breathe
Is a miracle in isn’t self
Embrace this, embrace it all
See where it takes us after all
Slowly declining such a sad existence
Slowly
Slowly

Nine Dollars a Day

Against all odds
Raised up against the bets
Pulled it off
But lost it all
If you think you know
You learn to find
You know nothing at all
The importance of thought
A grain of sand
In a giant tidal wave of shit
You drown in it
You struggle threw it
But in the end
You only learn to live with it

A Place Called Home

Slowly killing myself
Slowly killing you
I take you down with me
To a deep dark hole
I’ve come to call my soul
After everything we’ve done
After everything I’ve said
There’s not much left to love
A fear I have come to commend
Slowly killing myself
Slowly killing you
I take you within me
To have and to hold
Forever of old
To a place called home

Something Different

Survival Instinct

I can smell the new smell of death
Disgusting, digesting, fermenting
Or is it the smell of day old oil
I’m unsure as unclassified as one can be
I break into the vault only to find that it’s all gone
Nothing is ever what it seems
Yet I sit and sit waiting for something new
Each day a tiny, little bit of a disappointment
I forgot what it means to say
I forgot what it’s called
But I’m sick of waiting

I can hear a voice calling my name
Obnoxious, horrid, abstentious
Or is it someone screaming for help
I’m unsure as uncommunicable as one can be
I walked into the wrong area only to find that they had all moved on
Everything is always what it seems
Each minute a tiny, little bit of disappointment
I forgot what it means to see
I forgot what it was that I saw
But I’m sick of always wondering

I can see a figure in the distance
Disfigured, distracting, dismembered
Or is it only me from the shadows
I’m unsure as unbelievable as that could be
I destroyed every mirror only to learn there was never an image
Nothing is ever what it seems
Each second a tiny, little bit of a disappointment
I forgot what it means to be
I forgot what it was that I heard
But I’m sick of never knowing

You Get One, Maybe Fourteen Chances

I’m writing a book, shut up isn’t everyone?
At this point, you have to realize we each have a story
Some boring, some slow, but God and the Devil aren’t the only characters in the world
You are not as important as you think you are
The preacher likes to preach, but isn’t the bible really about me?
Choke on that and realize nor is anyone
But yet, but still you fantasize without real lies
We’d be nothing at all
Vicious cycle of hanging out at the mall
Nothing matters but were all the same
Can I have a dollar?
You can go fuck off
If I told you once, I know I’ll have to tell you again
I don’t care and nor does your mom
So write your journals, write your blogs
Print the shit off and we’ll talk
Long, long after you are gone and I’m
Still left standing here with a thumb up my ass
Without an asset to my name
When exactly does it mean to be someone?
Why am I asking you like we’re familiar
Like we are family and not my boss