Hyped…

Another short post… still have a lot of thoughts running through my mind at the moment… about what I want to do… bare with me… and yes I am aware that this is a cop out… but I just watched the new trailer… well the only trailer at the moment for Captain Marvel… super hyped… so I thought I would share some movies that I am hyped about… pretty lame… not at all bloody… but if you want to imagine that I pulled these trailers from my own brain with a bloody knife… well who am I to stop you?… 

 

 

Other movies I want to check out…

Bad Times at the El Royale

 

Hotel Artemis

ARIZONA

 

 

Seems like I am really into hotel movies as of late… haha… but they both look really good… In all fairness… I’d watch anything with The Dude in it… I could watch him read a boring book… it would be creepy as fuck… but I would do it…

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You don’t have to buy my shit… but please feel free to review it… shit on it… whatever makes you happy… : )

Well This Should Be Fun…

I had a lot of fun doing a Q and A with myself… last week… so I thought why not this week do one with all of you?… kind of like the blog awards… but not… so leave a question down below in the comments… or on Twitter… and I will or I won’t answer them by Friday… for Friday’s post… so questions need to be in by Thursday morning at the latest… If you don’t want me to link you to your question… let me know… This should be fun… 

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Broken Thoughts… Good For Your Health?…

Probably not… but here we go anyway… 

 

Share A Time In Your Life When You Were Embarrassed?

So glad that you asked… my first post… had no fucking idea what I was doing… three days in I was thinking… why did I even bother… should give up and quit… now these words and thoughts are all over the internet… how could I ever believe I would connect with anyone in this world… then it happened… a like… one like… meant more to me than anything had in years… someone actually thought my thoughts were worth a like… my whole attitude towards this mess… changed… rode the “like” dragon for a while after that… but that is a whole other story… so if you hate or like anything that I am doing you can thank the liker… Little Fears… it is all his fault… 

 

Why Do Some Kids Use Drugs?

This is always something that I have gotten… but then at the same time don’t understand at all… I drink and I do other things that I shouldn’t… I’d main line caffeine if I thought it could keep my eyes open for five more minutes… I’m not above it… I’m not above anything… I believe in free will… good or bad… we need to make our own choices… that is life to me… but if you can watch Requiem For A Dream… and right after be like Heroin looks like a fun drug… go fuck yourself… because that is all you are doing… there is no escape from all of this… we can visit… we can think that there is… but this is fucking life… as shitty and as grand as it can be… this is it… with that said I’ve never done acid… and I’ve heard nothing but bad things… torn between my beliefs… my responsibilities… the reality of life… so why do some kids use drugs?… because they want the escape… they want to take that escape hatch to some place else… not to Wonderland… not to greatness… but a darkness that I never want to understand… 

Also… watch Requiem For A Dream… fuck the US anti drug campaign… that is all anyone should ever need… There is also Candy... Trainspotting… you know what don’t do fucking drugs… the shit is awful… if you want to get high… go run or… you know what go help someone less fortunate than you… Life is fucking hard… and I love you… Destroying yourself… will never lead to something better… 

 

What Feelings Do You Have The Most Trouble Expressing?

Face to face?… honesty… I’m a great fucking liar… I like too… I enjoy the shit out of it… not change your life… fuck you over lies… but know that if I retell a story about anything we have done… how our day went… that shit is going to be epic… which is odd… because when I write… when I do the first draft of these blogs and thoughts… it is so easy to say the truth… so easy that it is boring… I go back… think how would I say this to your face… 

With that said… the only person I have no problem being honest to their face… is my wife… we have to lie to our children… when they are young at least… and even then I try not too… in fact my wife is always telling me to dial it back… she is three… haha… but I can’t lie to my wife… she has my heart on a string…  a life support that I need… but face to face?… you and me?… I’m probably lying about something…

 

When You Are Alone And No One Can See You or Hear You, What Do You Like To Do?

First off… am I in a fucking coma?… because I have a three-year old… with the worst case of ADHD I could possible imagine… that I have long since abandon my believe on the subject… this shit is real people… love that monster… but she is fucking crazy… honestly I feel bad for the rest of you… haha… good luck… I did my best… 

This question should be pretty obvious… I like to write… I always have… since I was thirteen… back when I thought writing was just writing words that rhythm… so yesterday… haha… seriously… early me… “I like gopher guts in gruel… because I hate school”… that’s real… hey… be jelly… thirteen year old me was fucking awesome… that’s why I had no friends and endless time to fail… fail I did… so hard… fun fact of life… you have to fail… failure is the only way to get better… well that an repetition… but if you aren’t failing… what the fuck are you doing?… 

 

What Is Your Favorite Food?

Yakisoba… all fucking day every fucking day… specifically… yakisoba from this tiny ass noodle shop in Misawa Japan… Cheese Roll Noodle… no idea if that is the real name of the place… but that is what we called it… when I lived there… the food… the food is so fucking good… I miss Japan every day… most of all I miss that place… if I could live there I would… no need for pay… just feed me… well now I’m depressed… too far from home I suppose… if you are ever in that tiny ass town in northern Japan… you have to go there… because what else are you going to do?… get drunk at train park?… 

I miss Japan so much… when I was there I didn’t really care for Anime… now that I am here in the US… I love Anime… Manga… not just for their apparent greatness… I’ve gotten ahead of myself… I like Anime’s that deal with every day life… because I miss the street signs… I miss the roads… I miss the fucking exit signs… Mini Stop food… the hundred Yen stores… the weather… the smells… the shrines… everything… Air Gear I hear is a shit Anime… love that shit… not enough shots of the locations though… Chobits… amazing… FLCL… the end shots of the streets… I miss Japan every day… 

 

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I hope you enjoyed this edition of Broken Thoughts… All questions came from that Ungame…. game I talked about a few months back… I know… that was supposed to be a thing… never turned out that way… alright I’m done sharing… enjoy your day… thanks for sitting through the madness… to learn a little bit more about me… 

 

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Glass Eyes and Blood Red Tears…

My mind seems to never go away
Shut the fuck up doesn’t work internally
The silence slices like a gun
Penetrating me form within
Really just isn’t that much fun
One life to live as it rots away
Who knows how much longer
This will last before I know who I am

 

“Describe The Ideal Life”….
One where I am not me…. 

 

I hate myself more than you
Why is it that you are always better?
Because I hate myself more than you
How is it that you can get more done?
Because I hate myself more than you
Who else is as fast as you?
No one which is why
I hate myself more than you

 

“If You Could Live Anyplace In The World – Where Would It Be?”
Japan… South Africa… Maine… as far away from me as possible…

 

 

The world is fated to go up against me
A singular perspective of rape and religion
Words confused but often mean the same
Forever damned without a reason as to when
I’ve given up before, ready to do it again
Another year and I’ll see where I am at
Treading water or wishing I was dead
Give me what you want the world stops for no man

 

“What Do You Think It’s Like After You Die?”
A whole lot like this… smiling and waiting for it to happen again…. 

 

Slipping into a new skin made of barbed wire and sin
If I had known anything would’ve stayed naked and bare
Sliding through nature as though I know
If I knew anything at all be long gone

 

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I recently got another tattoo… it is personal so I won’t share the details… that sounds odd as aren’t all tattoos… but I’ll be as cryptic as I want to be… if all else fail… saving up for my next one… something along the lines of this… 

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Something along these lines… except… black… I don’t want any color tattoos… shocker… the only issue I have with this tattoo… is that I want it on my fore arm… but it might be too big… better suited for my back… which would be cool… except that I couldn’t look at it… and that would suck… also still have to find a way to add some lyrics into it… I’m thinking on the bones… or having the snake not be colored in… instead “color” it in with lyrics… art and ideas are endless… 

If you are wondering… I only have two tattoos… because I am broke… haha… at least that is my excuse… the rest of my ideas for tattoos are up in the air… I have some ideas… but nothing concrete… my real excuse for not getting more… when I was a child I wanted a sleeve of tattoos of Nightmare Before Christmas… then Alice In Wonderland (1951)… also happens to be my favorite Disney movie… then Spirited Away… well really just No Face… 

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But that is a fuck ton of black… haha… No Face is amazing… and so is Spirited Away… I hope you have seen it by now… if not.. please do… I remember being in Japan… when that movie came out… unable to watch it but No Face’s sexy ass every where… in shop windows… on posters in the mall… I couldn’t wait… best wait ever… just wish I didn’t have too… okay… hyping the movie up way too much… back to the story… I have none of these things… and as I grow older… I want them… I want all the things… so much of my time… my life… has been waiting for the right time… a fucking joke… don’t go broke… don’t hurt yourself… but if you want to do something… fucking do it… I’m drunk… I love you… Live the life that you want to live… not hurting anyone?… then fuck it… do it… 

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Because Everything Can’t Be So Serious… Or Can It?…

Might be leaving here with very little battery life
But I don’t care
All in my head if you ask me
Not truly dead until five percent
And even then
Bringing all the hurt one could ever need
A sinkhole made of shit, more like quicksand
But who’s asking me
No one ever did so maybe that’s why I’m so bitter
Never got invited to the dance
And I never asked
Locked away inside my head
The despair is getting to me
Self-preservation unconsciously
But there’s nothing wrong with that
After awhile
After some time
All batteries drain away and the signals all gone

 

Mother’s Love Chocolate Covered Shit” was a title I came up with, but never used… It was going to be this long monologue… long stream of conscious thought… about all the chocolate covered shit at work for Mother’s Day… Yet no woman in my life has ever asked me or shown interest in such things… is this a case of society pushing crap on women or a deep secret desire to cover the world in chocolate?… but why only on Mother’s Day ladies?… Why not every day?… change starts with you… if you want something you have to take it… and pour chocolate on it… 

 

Proudly serving those that serve
Hidden slavery no one understands
Taken a fool by the Masters
Best intentions at heart
Proudly owned by those who own me
Wish I could separate myself from who I’ve become
Jaded and lost, time has a funny way of screwing us all
Where have the days gone if they haven’t gone anywhere
Standing in a stand still
Death will be here soon and then what do we do
Rehearsing  my place in all of this
One long line waiting to get in
Praying all of this will seem worth it

 

“I don’t see the bosses yellow Mustang or the midlife crises cruiser as I’ve been known to call it, so he is not here. Which is either a good thing or a very bad for me.” Not everything has to make sense at the time or years later… for some reason I never finished this thought… and even now I don’t know where I was going with this… This next part is in the same boat… a prewrite where… well you can read it and tell me… 

 

This prewrite didn’t reveal shit
Fuck technique when it doesn’t matter
Too much anger to flow
Too much anger to make any sense
Fuck you, like I care
I don’t, oh well, what are we going to do about it?
Suffering maybe the best way
But where does that leave the rest of us
Put your balls on the table
Watch them get chopped off and added to the pile
Wonder what the fuck is happening
Does it matter anymore
Fuck you said in only so many ways
Bit the curb and succumb to the toothless grin
Turns out teeth were more important than once thought
Rotting out from the inside
Your breath smells like shit and I can’t take it anymore
Shattered perception of what it takes to be a man
Called out to define the definition of a vagina
The words are so convoluted it’s like they don’t makes sense at all
Given up on the solution and the conflicted
Hollowed out and welcomed home

 

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This was all in fun… leftover pieces that didn’t fit anywhere else… some of it was stupid… who writes a poem about battery life?… haha… made sense at the time… lack of sleep will make anything makes sense though… the last entry… I have no idea where I was going other than to say random things… was my favorite… a lot of really cool… weird… dark lines… hopefully you enjoyed this trip inside my mind… this adventure into the past… 

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Why Can We Not Sleep Forever?…

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If you follow me on Instagram than you are more than likely sick of seeing this image… need to get a new camera… slash lighting set up… but I think you get the point… 

Now available on Etsy… click here to find out more… 

 

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This makes the perfect addition to your wardrobe if you are a fan of me… dogs… and blood… not so much if you enjoy all three at the same time… no judgment… but bloody dogs is not cool… by the way fun fact…. that is real blood…. pigs blood… but very real all the same… nothing but the best for all of you….

Funny story… I spent the whole day collecting enough to get weird with… my friend thought it would be a good idea to run it through the wrapping machine… her heart was in the right place… by the time she hit the emergency stop… it looked like a massacre went down in the cutting room… it was a little surreal… what if a machine could bleed?… that was a fun day… you can purchase this design and a few others here at Threadless… 

 

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But we all know why you are really here… for the words… this poem collection… And Other Things From This Time… is now available on Amazon… in paperback and digital… free on Kindle Unlimited as well… a friend of mine Jeanne... did a very cool review on it recently… she even added a little something that I think is extra special… if you don’t already follow her… have a look around… she is very talented on many fronts… her photography is on point… her words bring out the best in everything she does… check it out… 

That’s it… I’m out of soul to sell today… see you tomorrow… for… honestly I have no idea… flying by the seat of my pants… for no reason at all… 

It Arrived…

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“That’s when I was like… She just doesn’t get me… Sometimes it feels as though I’m only talking to myself… shh… acted natural I can see her in the distance…”

“I can hear you Charles… If this is how you are going to be the whole time… Maybe we should go home… I only wanted to have a good time…”

Charles whispers “She gets like this every time there is an end of days… Wait where are you going?… Don’t run away… Every time…”

 

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Peter makes this look easy… if you don’t know who Peter is… he is the mad genius behind Little Fears… if you don’t know who Little Fears is… well the link is for you… if you like horror… comedy… odd things… and… art… Little Fears is for you… also it is okay to groan… Peter is into that sort of thing… Little Fears Presents It Arrived

Forrester McLeod AKA Katy Boyer AKA we just met so I’m not sure which name she likes to go by… but I have been checking out her art and her website… I have to say I have been very impressed by her work… both written… and artistically… so if you like art… words… or discovering new things… then you should definitely check her out… It Arrived… 

I want to thank Peter and Katy for the invite… It Arrived… was a very fun and exciting concept… being that I’m no where as good of an artist as either one of them… It was a fun and rewarding challenge… to try to get to their level… hope you all enjoy this special week-end post… see you Monday…