Things To Do When There’s Nothing To Do…

Start Over…

Said everything there is left to say
It is almost time to stop all this shit
Been on the fringe of a nervous breakdown
Searching for the right things to say
Nothing comes to mind, stay silent
Taught us well now it’s time to show what we’ve learned
At an impasse of great importance
Stand before you, surrounded, know what needs
To be done but will you?
The point is the time
Becoming too late as the next set runs us over
No more time left to live
How it has always been?
The world passes us by at an alarming rate
Fewer of us needed to sustain a comfortable life
Still too many of us left stomping on the ground
No idea what to do?
Strip the world into nothing to sell it right back
What else is there to do?
The poison sowed into the very fabric of who we are
Tear your eyes from the screen and look around
Why would we ever?
Guilty, don’t know a better way
Purge ourselves to save the rest from what we’ve become
Don’t know a better way to solve this problem
Wouldn’t do it myself but would you?
The words don’t seem to reach those above us
Not too sure they’d even notice we were gone
Do you even know them?
Dollars and sense maybe wasn’t the best way to go about this
Already heard it all before, time to start over
We’re we ever in control?


Painting Futures

This is no way to live
In the shadow of the generation before
Kept as a pet, something to adore
Listen to what needs to be said
Too late the day has come and went
Give us a reason to follow our hearts
Destroyed, locked away, extermination
Our futures are beyond fucking pointless
Give me a reason to give a fuck
The silence is beyond anything we could say
Without faith in ourselves
We are so lost
This is no way to live
Know no other way
Second guess myself at every thought
Living without guidance only rules
So fucking offended at the suggestion
I feel, don’t we all
I feel, that only you matter
I feel, I feel, I fucking feel

None of this matters
We have to find meaning out of nothing
The world doesn’t revolve
It only drags us around
This is no way to live, but what other was there?



A little dark today… haha… might be a running theme through my head… a little crazy mixed in there too… working on a short story… the first in a long time… don’t want to say too much… kind of excited at the idea… mostly because I have no idea where it is going to end… when you will be able to read it… I have no idea… I just thought you should know… 

Speaking of things you may want to know…. Threadless… shirts…. Amazon… books… Etsy… art… and yes I feel dirty… : )

Broken Thoughts

Somewhere in the darkness
Just before the light
Lies something so dark
It hides in plain sight
Worlds live and breathe
A price to pay
A debt so low
What could come from this
If nothing at all
Watch the sky as it burns
Even on the darkest nights
Still can see the blood
Who does it bleed for
If not for you and me
The truth so hard to find
When the lies become so easy to digest


A bible left on a bench
Verses stuck in my head
Bleeding for a cause
Dying for the dead
Wait out the end of the world
Cautiously continuing what’s already been done
Too afraid to try anything new
Coughing up blood from all the fun
Destroying everything I love
If I knew why I’d tell you
Locked away in my mind
All that matters at the time


Taking this one step at a time
Taking it one step further than Christ
Gave up all my sins
Now there’s nothing left
Dragging myself up the cross once again
The pain comes on fast than slow
Growing old with so much left to go
Who am I if I am without sin
Who am I to beg for forgiveness
Drinking blood to understand where this began
The body begs the question of what have I done
Said you’d never leave now here I stand
All alone with nowhere to go


Easier to lie than to live your life
Spitting blood for the taste
Waiting out the storm of our lives
Hidden in the dark never had a reason why
Feel as though all of this has been said before
Giving into the reason why
Without context doesn’t make much sense
Nothing ever really does
Picking out the parts that I like
So broken left dead inside
Who I’ve always wanted to be



Been trying to get back into Twitter lately… been very lazy or very busy… depends on where your sympathies lie… stack of canvases that need to be finished… worked on… done something with… a stack of ideas that need to be worked on as well… I keep piling it on… forcing myself to take on more… spend the time wondering why?… have I always been this way?… am I only noticing it now after all this time… always moving… always going… what does it mean to sit still?… in my broken… warped mind… it means certain death… a fallacy I want to believe… rather than one I need to believe… so there has been that as well…

Me trying to relax… and dare I say… have fun… it isn’t going well… I don’t get it… I don’t like it… but I know I need it… I need to learn to enjoy what I have before it is gone… those around me… my friends… my family… society as a whole… there is some shitty metaphor about how no one is an island… true even if I keep trying to disprove such a thought… a notion… that I could be wrong… all of this is weighing on me… my mind… the question… what do I want from life?… 

I have no idea… I spent so much time avoiding the question… running from it… putting things in front of it to hide behind… nothing stops it… like the great Jason Voorhees that fucking question just keeps coming… except maybe one thing… one possible outcome to put this damn demon to rest… an answer… a solution to the problem and question… and that is the real issue… I don’t have an answer… I don’t have a realistic idea of what I want… all I have is a fantasy… a lie.. I keep telling myself to get by… as we all know… we can only lie for so long until the lie falls apart… 

That was a lot to lay on you… and this is yet another moment that I will dwell on… where does all this come from?… now you know… even if it is only a glimpse of how I see the world… see myself in it… been human for so long… ready to be so much more… time will tell if any of this ever gets better… 

“Not all martyrs see divinity, but at least you tried”….
Maynard James Keenan, Eulogy, Tool


Threadless Shirts… Amazon Words in the form of books… Etsy… Thoughts in the form of art… 

Broken Thoughts

We try to recreate things from memory
From feeling, never the same in our heads
Misquoting everything in sight
So we begin this story of deceit
From within, from the soul
Need you to relate even if it is only
To prove a point
Selfishness runs deep
Ignorance so much deeper
Diseased and seeking some sort of care
The depression is so much worse with them
Broken and needing something more
So blind to everyone else’s needs


Turns out I traded one mask for another after all


Your death rattle escape
Won’t shake all the demons free
Still lurking in the darkness
We’ve been waiting a long time
We’ll keep waiting with all the patience
Of a saint, a devil in disguise
Wings made of bone and tarred on feathers
We know pain above anything else
We’ve known its caress since the dawn of time

Always on the fence. I’m always on the fence.


I gave it all up for this?
These feelings don’t subside
These feelings grow deeper
Slip into the cracks of my broken heart
Give it another year
Give me a whole lifetime
Waste it once again
If I could do it over
So unsure I would
Life gets easier with time
Because the will to live
Goes with it
Gave up my soul for something I don’t know
Want it back but I’m so unsure



Lets keep this odd train a rolling… was on my way to work today when an odd thought came across my mind… civil services is the only job where it is okay to be an asshole to the ones that pay you… the only job where it is an actual possibility that you could beat your employer too much… if I even raised a fist to someone I work with I would be fired instantly… yet a cop could hit you with a baton and as long as you seemed like you were resisting… perfectly legal… if I’m not careful how I talked to someone at work… it would cost me my job… but a judge could and can talk down to you… they can literally judge you… and they are applauded for it… basically I got in the wrong line of work… 

Could you imagine for a moment though… if these things were reversed… sure it could suck… take the suck out for a moment… but things might actually be more efficient… if people actually thought something could happen to them… sure we still speed… we still break the law… but many of us don’t for fear that a baton might come across our face… or we could get shot… but at my work at least… many of them have the attitude I get paid either way… or as one of my fellow “Hard Workers” said to me… “Why are you organizing? It is only going to get messed up again”… (insert I may kill you face)… I wonder why that might be?… 

I don’t know… only a broken thought that I stumbled across… 

Threadless… shirts… Amazon… books… Etsy… art… 

Bending Over to Take It… Smile… All Will Be Well…

New slavery needs a place to stay
New slavery doesn’t have anything to say
Too many problems to fit in one sentence
Too many issues to blame on one thing
We say we are holy, We don’t live in sin
Yet we worship all the worst things in man
Gluttony, Sloth, Lust, and Greed
We wonder why we have nothing
Left wondering
Get off your knees

New slavery is lost in the distractions of the day
New slavery is divided with too many things left to say
Too many people still caught up on who is gay
Too many people still caught up on race
We say we are just, We don’t except intolerance
Yet we stand against our victims, condemn them with the rest
Allow our masters to get in the way
We look to the stars for some sign of God
The answer standing next to us all along
A united front of ignorance and bliss
We say one thing but really we could give a shit
Auto correct me if I’m wrong
Mirrored repercussions, actions on repeat
No American has ever been okay with retreat
Maybe things are different, too blind to see
But won’t deny it never existed at all

Not decided purely on race or color
Money the chains of the day
Fight among the ones that should unite
Doing everything our masters want
Deception the war we’ve always fought
Step out of line and leave your place, get left behind
The times they aren’t changing only getting worse
We think we understand, believe we are so woke
But we have no idea at all
New slavery has nothing to say
So we just keep slaving away


It Just Keeps Coming At Me…

Signals in the Sky

The blood is so faint
It disappears with the rest of the stains
The cracks of the floor
Each grain nothing more than a track
I can feel it’s warmth
Even as I stare
Watch it as it goes
Drips through the floor
Drips down to disappear
The blood is so dark
As though it is made of something else
Comes together to form a paste
Before drying into stains
A second skin made from inside
The time it takes
Is time I do not have
The time it doesn’t wait
Fine I guess, I suppose
If you’re not me


A Long Ways from Home

Driving, driven to think about all of this shit
A mountain, a hole filled with everything to lose
If I could leave would I
If any of this really mattered would I walk or stay
Ideally my ideals don’t mean much to me
Deep rooted sense of entitlement
Think I’m so much better than I really am
The writer and the gun, running out of ammunition
Thoughts seem to go on and on without making any sense
Trading one problem for another, life is troublesome
Taking everything for granted with no enjoyment of the moment
Too many words describe my failures in this life
One life wasted on shit that keeps coming
Words of wisdom wasted on a dying mass
Good plague, the right change in the wind could really go a long ways



I don’t have a whole hell of a lot to say today… shocking I know… so I’m just going to unload a bunch of random songs on you… no reason… As always… things can be found at ThreadlessAmazon… and now Etsy… Maybe I should organize my comics today… that sounds mildly exciting… anyway… here are some songs to fill up your head space… hope you enjoy… 






Why Can We Not Sleep Forever?…



If you follow me on Instagram than you are more than likely sick of seeing this image… need to get a new camera… slash lighting set up… but I think you get the point… 

Now available on Etsy… click here to find out more… 


Chewing On Glass Dog Theme.jpg

This makes the perfect addition to your wardrobe if you are a fan of me… dogs… and blood… not so much if you enjoy all three at the same time… no judgment… but bloody dogs is not cool… by the way fun fact…. that is real blood…. pigs blood… but very real all the same… nothing but the best for all of you….

Funny story… I spent the whole day collecting enough to get weird with… my friend thought it would be a good idea to run it through the wrapping machine… her heart was in the right place… by the time she hit the emergency stop… it looked like a massacre went down in the cutting room… it was a little surreal… what if a machine could bleed?… that was a fun day… you can purchase this design and a few others here at Threadless… 


book image

But we all know why you are really here… for the words… this poem collection… And Other Things From This Time… is now available on Amazon… in paperback and digital… free on Kindle Unlimited as well… a friend of mine Jeanne... did a very cool review on it recently… she even added a little something that I think is extra special… if you don’t already follow her… have a look around… she is very talented on many fronts… her photography is on point… her words bring out the best in everything she does… check it out… 

That’s it… I’m out of soul to sell today… see you tomorrow… for… honestly I have no idea… flying by the seat of my pants… for no reason at all… 

Staring Like A Junkie

Did This Really Have Meaning

Amount to something
A purpose would do the world some good
Breaking bones to stay with it
Because that’s what really matters
Cramming my body full of shit
Can all it add up to real effort
Does anything ever add up to anything
Don’t think it won’t help anyone
Effect is so different from affection
End up feeling the same all together
Friendly means something other than friend
Fucking reality kicking in, sinking in
Got so few years left in this world
Gloating never got anyone anywhere
Have everything, all I’ll ever need
How could effort mean so little
I think maybe a little too much
Intelligence wasted on the weak
Jokes have so little meaning
Jesters will tell you all the sadness they know
Knowingly knowing no one gives a fuck
Kill the ones that dare
Love those who stand in your way
Like they’d have a purpose if it wasn’t for you
No one gives away anything in this world
Except for our souls without any effort


I had a whole other poem to go with this one… but there is a lot to unpack here on this one… this one is very personal to me… so let’s go line by line and explain how worthless I am… come take my hand… this will be fun… 

If you didn’t catch right away this was written at and about work… well then you haven’t been paying attention to me now have you?… skipping the first two lines because… well they are pretty obvious with no hidden meaning… a purpose could do us all some good… no argument there… Breaking bones to stay with it, Because that’s what really matters”... these lines are about the time that I got hurt at work… I didn’t break anything, but I did have to sport a hard cast for a few weeks because I sprained my wrist so bad the doctors thought I did break my wrist… got lucky they said… if I had waited any longer I would have ruptured the tendon… funny how lack of sleep… lack of money… lack of self-worth…  will drive you to do stupid things… this one is all on me… of course someone should have been like hey… you can’t work like that… but when you hate yourself more than everyone else… well they’d let you work until you died… because that’s what really matters…

“Friendly means something other than friend”… this one is a twofer… it has to do more with being trapped between two things… Mangers who pretend to be your friend… tell you how great you are killing your self… and the other side of the business where we are selves are supposed to be fake and pretend we like the customers… don’t get me wrong… I don’t hate any customers… or think horrible thoughts about them… even the stupid ass one that ask me if they should eat expired brown meat… because if I did… I would have said yes… under cooked and as much as you can stuff in your face… but I didn’t… I saved a life the other day… maybe more than one… I’m not proud of it… but I am no monster either… In all actually though… when your job is to stay up all night and restock everything… we don’t care about the customer… sure we get it… but one less item to stock… to have hanging over our heads… “Sorry… we are out of personal lubricant”… Big smile… 

“Have everything, all I’ll ever need, How could effort mean so little, I think maybe a little too much“… First line is about how I was born with everything I will ever need… hints how I got so great at my job… the job didn’t give me that… I gave the job that… arrogant… out of touch with who I am… but the truth is the job isn’t us… we are the job… we don’t have to work as hard as we think that we do… but who doesn’t want to be the best they can be?… second line… has to do with money… and the last thought… yes… I was one of the best at that job… and yet I made less than some of the worst people I worked with… because that’s how all this works… currently at my new job in the same company I am having an internal conflict because not only do I know I do more than most people based on numbers and units… I now know how much money we make in a day as a department… the first set of information was crippling… knowing how much money we make off of my ass… well… why don’t you clean up the chicken juice off the shelf…

Won’t go into huge detail but… on most days… even the slow ones… my department makes more than I do all year… in one fucking day… yes… I know there is more to a business… there are costs blah… blah.. blah… there are ten people in my department… I’m dead middle in terms of money earned… there are 365 days in a year… it doesn’t take a genius to see that I’m getting fucked at some point here… well we have to pay… blah… blah.., blah… even if they paid each of us the amount of money we make as a department on our busiest day… Sunday… they’d still have 42 weeks of pure profit… minus all that other blah.. blah.. bull shit… what I’m saying is stop showing the fucking numbers… ” I think maybe a little too much”… pretty obvious at this point… 

“Love those who stand in your way, Like they’d have a purpose if it wasn’t for you”… On the surface this would seem to be about celebrity… and it works for that very much… these lines are actually about those above me… we have such a cult of personality for each of these assholes that lord over us… but why?… most of them can’t even do what we can do… they wouldn’t have a job if it wasn’t for us… in fact if it wasn’t for us… they’d be doing our fucking shitty horrible jobs… so why is it that they think they can treat us like shit… push us to the point that we want to… we hope we lose control going around a corner… we hope the box cutter slips and hits something important… by we I mean me…

I get they are their to flock us all together… lead us to the promise land…  but I can’t stand this whole pushing the strong bullshit… and that is why I am worthless… that is why all my effort is wasted… because I give in and let them do this to me… let them drive me to hurt myself… let them make money off my pain… and quite honestly give away my soul with very little effort… conditioned to suffer… to feel pain… we all wear chains… some we can see… and some that we can’t… “Sorry… we are out of personal lubricant”… Big smile…