Digging Up The Past: Q & A…

It is once again time to play Tell It Like It Is… and for you to find out more about your favorite writer here at Chewing On Glass… part I don’t even know… of a series no one asked for… but I can’t stop now… (If this is your first time… basically I draw three to four random cards with questions on them and I answer them… why?… no one… including me… has the slightest clue…)Now if I can only find the cards…

Question 1: What Is Something That Makes You Feel Sad?

hmm… if I had to only choose one thing… it would be the thought of me not being here… and not watching my daughter grow up… not being there for my daughter as she experiences life is really the saddest thing I can think of… I’m sure anything happening to my daughter would make me sad… something about being human… but not being there to watch her learn how to drive… not being there for the first time she gets her heart broken… not being there to witness her get married to the person she loves… not be there for when she has her own child for the first time… at 55 : ) … not being there when she needs me ever… breaks my heart every time I think of it…

Question 2: How Would You Change The World To Make It Better, If You Had Enough Power?

Who says I don’t have enough power?… I think we all have the power to change the world… little by little each day… the problem is time… we want everything changed now… and history doesn’t work that way… we don’t work that way… we can want all the change in the world… but to actually change anything takes time… which is why I love history and hate it… very aware that was not the question… so what would I change?… you know if I could…

Education comes to mind… but like history… it too takes time to change… what to learn… what we need to learn… I do believe we are very behind on how we learn though… because everything around us is changing at an ever increasing rate… I mean tech we thought was cool not even ten years ago… is basically trash… if we keep up this pace that is… I’d like to see more education about how to live presented in school… not how you should live mind you… but how to live… medical basics… in depth taxes… the stock market… how to make things with your hands… etc… too much of our education is left to this idea… that you will learn as you go… what if you don’t though?…

I feel a lot of our “lost” feelings we carry as humans… is not knowing what else is out there… there is this saying in America and I’m sure everywhere… So and so could cure cancer… there are a lot of variances… which is true… if they are exposed to science… biology… etc… I hate that expression because the real truth is many of us are… fish being screamed at to climb a tree… more time should be spent learning or experiencing what you are good at an earlier age… as opposed to what you are force to be good at for whatever reason… money… options… location… etc…

Now that I have gotten off my high horse… what would I actually change?… long term education… short term… how we handle those of us that need our help… be it mental health… hunger… homelessness or even those of us who have homes barely… our elderly… social justice… I’m not going to go on some long rant about capitalism vs socialism… but this mentality of fuck’em and move on is a negative effect of our society that needs to be fixed… because it is a fine mentality to have when it doesn’t effect you… but the sad truth is that a lot of these issues actually do effect you even if they don’t present themselves to you directly…

The hardest thing any of us can do in this world is ask for help… that goes for each and everyone of us… and maybe I or you can’t help with every problem that is presented to us… but it also doesn’t mean we can’t try our best to do what we can… even if it as simple as lending an ear… that is effort… effort is action… and actions will always speak louder than words… no matter how hard I try to make these words as impactful as I can…

Question 3: What Is Your Favorite Sport And Why Do You Like It?

I used to like American football… because it is war… and like all human’s deep down I like war… except this one is battled out mostly on Sundays… and when it is done… everything round the battle isn’t left in smoldering ash… death and destruction… with that said I no longer watch any sports… or really follow them… just not for me… I get it… but I’m good… everyone has there thing and I happy for those of us who find it in sports…

Question 4: What Gives You “Goose Bumps”?

Anything to do with eye balls or finger nails… never noticed that none of my characters ever have anything happen to either?… and even if I was to include anything about either… the detail would be zero… “His eye was slashed. That’s it. It was slashed and a finger nail broken. Maybe chipped, but mostly broken”… shiver… haha…

Question 5: Describe Your Life At Age 70.

Heroin… lots and lots heroin… lots of any drug really… I’ll be tripping balls… looking for my blue elephant because I forgot where I parked it… me making it to 70 would be a miracle in itself… and I’m going out with a bang… plus at that age a little will go a long fucking way… I’m 70… I’m on a budget… So look out for Crazy Grandpa… the drug fiend writer that was… and if you have my blue elephant… I want it back…

Merch… Threadless… Books… Amazon… Broken Thoughts… Twitter

The Tour That Never Was…

Get Your Memories Back For Something That Never Happend…

Here…

If Only I Knew How To Swim…

I Haven’t Even Began To Peak

This self-sacrificing bullshit is getting old
Your poisonous fangs can no longer take a hold
I wish for something better
Only come up with more excuses
The way things are going, there’s no real way of knowing
What is truth and what is a lie
Everything you are conditioned to believe
I despise
Tormented by my own mind
Can’t seem to focus even for a moment
My own worst enemy with me at all times
If I give up now which part is the lie
Three years and counting
Adding up to something I don’t realize
Giving away everything one word at a time
Tomorrow maybe, but today I don’t know
Not sure how it is I ever will
Left wondering, left out in the cold
I know there is an end but where to begin
Lost in tranquility, Lost in retaliation
Full of words with nothing to say
Revenge is everything and nothing
A steaming pile of shit I have to get through
Letting go seems to be the hardest part
When this self-sacrificing bullshit is getting old
When all the unused words build up in my head

Buried Under Three Feet of Shit

Can’t stop this even if I tried
Thousand Broken bones
Blood dripping from every wound
A fucking mess
Still going strong
Still going after all and everything
What stops the will to live when you are already dead?
Contradict myself with a mouth full of shit
Bending back my neck to understand any of this
Twisting and pulling until it connects
What makes up a soul
Makes us whole
Worthlessly sinking in a sea of shit and piss
If only I knew how to swim
Could I then know what it means to live
What if I already did but only refused?
Compound fracture, compound interjection
Still hanging on by a thread, a lifeline attached to nothing
With all the answers locked in my head
Head pulled back I’ve learned all that I have been told to know
Kicking under the surface still going under
Education is nothing more than an endurance test
Testing everything I know against everything I don’t
Strange how I once thought now I just forget
Going on is harder against the undertow
Going forward is harder pressed upon the wall
Going on seems to be the hardest part after all
Circumstances uncertain, left for dead, three feet under
A bed, a sea, an existence of shit


Well if that doesn’t sum up the year that was 2020… I’m not even going to waste my time in hoping next year will be any better… expectations are just a let down at this point… all hope isn’t gone… but would it make a difference anymore if it was?…

Also I know how to swim… well I haven’t drowned yet… so you can infer whatever you like from that… for some reason I feel that you need to know this… I’m not even proud of that fact… given that I won’t even get in a body of water… cesspools full of shit… you’d think I would feel at home… but I don’t…

Ready to get to this new year already… and leave last year in the past… that is saying a lot… considering as each day passes… that is one less day that I never had… feelings get lost in the emotions… ideas get buried under the thoughts… and I seem to disappear as each day goes on… How is any day different… if it is all one long day to begin with?… Yeah… I’m ready to face the new year and everything that comes with it…

Happy New Year From Everyone At Is That A Funeral?…

That Is A Cat On A Hoodie…

Not Just Any Cat… But A Demon Cat…

Which Means… It Will Keep You Extra Warm…

(Demon Cats Aren’t Real… Also We Have No Way To Prove This… That Cat Though Was Super Psycho… Haunted By Something From Another Dimension… That Photo Wasn’t Even Manipulated… Yeah… Let That Sink In… Demon Cat In My Book…)

Get Yours Today…

Stay Warm And Help Spread The Word…

Something Different… Already?… Q & A…

It is time for some of that good old fashion fun… I know… I know… I’m not sure what it means either… but I’m told that it will be… well fun… Let The Ungame BeginFire It Up… don’t actually bring flames any where near this game… because it is mostly paper… if it came with game tokens… or even rules… well we lost those a long time ago… seriously this game is old… not ancient old… but it isn’t getting any younger… The Ungame Begins... Lightning Edition

Question 1: If You Were Told You Only Have One Week To Live… How Would You Spend It?

Without pants… next…

Question 2: What Do You Think Your Friends Say About You When You’re Not Around?

Probably the same things they say to my face… that I’m an asshole… next…

Question 3: Say Something About Policemen

They can be found in many form… one of which is as a woman… this game is super old… borderline ancient… next…

Question 4: If You Could Become Invisible Where Would You Like To Go?

If I told you… what would be the thrill of being invisible?.. everywhere… next…

Question 5: Remember – No Talking Unless It’s Your Turn! Take Another Card.

Literally sitting here in silence… that’s a creepy thought… working hard to earn that “dark” tag…

Question 6: What Would You Do If You Found $1,000 In A Vacant Lot?

Burn it… never hold on to evidence… next…

Question 7: How Do You Feel When Someone Laughs At You?

That being a stand up comedian… could be more than just a fantasy… next…

Question 8: What Is The Most Sentimental Possession That You Have?

My wife… next…

Question 9: What Would You Like To Do To Become Famous?

I decided last month… to make candles… this is just a side gig until it takes off… name one famous candle maker… now I just have to make candles… next…

Question 10: What Is Your Favorite Song?

You can only name one?… like out of all of them in the world?… what kind of bull shit made up question is this?… if there was a customer service number to call right now… Pick one song?… that simple?… why don’t you pick just one song game?… oh that’s right… it’s not your turn so you can’t speak… pick one song… I’ve never been so triggered… offended… confused… emotions… brain is firing on emotions right now… not pick a band and their best song… as if that is a simple task… no… pick a song…

Introducing our new segment… Ambrose’s Favorite Song… just fucking with you… no one has the time… however… let me know what your favorite song is in the comments… and I will tell you if it is good or not… also feel free to answer any of the above questions…

Merch… Threadless… Books… Amazon… Broken Thoughts… Twitter

Now Available…

Bukowski by Modest Mouse… if you know me… you can guess why…


Something Different… Once Again… Q & A…

It is once again time to play Tell It Like It Is… and for you to find out more about your favorite writer here at Chewing On Glass… it goes without saying… which means it has to be said… I also happen to be the best writer that Is That A Funeral? has on their roster… I said it… telling it like it is… enough with the lame intro… lets get into this already… (If this is your first time… basically I draw three to four random cards with questions on them and I answer them… why?… no one… including me… has the slightest clue…)

Question 1: How Do You Look When You Get Angry?

Not really sure how to answer this one… mostly because I can’t see myself… also… it would be beyond frightening… if for some reason… in my free time… I sat around staring into a mirror getting pissed off… I mean because I don’t…

I’ve been told that I look pissed off most of the time… by just about everyone that I know… which presents a whole set of problems when I actually get angry… because no one has a fucking clue… which pisses me off even more… and it is around this time the cops have me pinned to the ground… it is a whole thing… all I’m saying is that I don’t liked to be touched… or when I’m not angry… people like to tell me that I am… or are afraid of me… being afraid of me really isn’t a problem though…

Question 2: If You Had To Move And Could Take Only Three Things With You, What Would You Take?

This question would have been way harder a few years ago… I am assuming when they say move… they mean move from one place around the house to the other… in that case… I need my laptop… my writing folder… and a pen… but my head is not that far up my ass… so the three things I would need if I was moving…

Thing 1… My laptop with my writing folder and a pen strapped to it… (I could have said my writing bag… too late to change the answer now…)

Thing 2… My wife with our child strapped to her back and a change of clothes… (I could have said my family… but I suck at thinking on my feet… (Not really… I’m mostly lazy… and don’t want to press backspace…))

Thing 3… My blanket… because I have some weird unresolved issues from moving way too much as a child… and lets face it I am a little broken… (No side comment for this one… though I guess I could have made my wife carry that as well… not a big enough asshole for that… (then again… I do have my laptop in my hands as well… so maybe I should have her carry it?…))

Question 3: Share A Big Let-Down In Your Life.

Not actually a question game… but feel free to click on any previous post I have written… kindle and paperback editions of my let-downs are also available on Amazon… can’t give them all away for free…

Question 4: What Color Do You Think Of When You Think Of Happiness?

Easy ass day for me… Black… that is the color I think of for happiness… I mean it goes with everything… all my clothes are black… my wife only wears black… (my daughter likes blue… we aren’t really sure she is ours…) my pens are black… my laptop… my file folders… my switch… Umbreon is black… my dogs… if I had a cat… I’m sure most if not all of my soul… trying to think of all the things that make me happy… I should get some black candles… what would that even smell like?… I should make my own candles… and this is how my brain works… brought to you by Tell It Like It Is

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