The Next Exciting Volume in the Broken Thoughts Series is Now Available…
Now Packed with Even More Broken Thoughts… Poems… and Short Stories…
You Know for the Taste… *
This collection contains never before seen or read short stories not found any where… Including Strangers To Ourselves… A short story about one woman’s journey through hell and what she must do to survive… Also… included are classic short stories from the website… remixed… reedited… expanded… and somehow darker than ever before…
If you are a fan of everything found on the site… You are sure to love this unhinged… new collection from Layne Ambrose and Is That A Funeral?… Digital and Paperback available at Amazon and the Amazon Kindle Store…
The Next Exciting Volume in the Broken Thoughts Series is Now Available…
Now Packed with Even More Broken Thoughts… Poems… and Short Stories…
You Know for the Taste… *
This collection contains never before seen or read short stories not found any where… Including Strangers To Ourselves… A short story about one woman’s journey through hell and what she must do to survive… Also… included are classic short stories from the website… remixed… reedited… expanded… and somehow darker than ever before…
If you are a fan of everything found on the site… You are sure to love this unhinged… new collection from Layne Ambrose and Is That A Funeral?… Digital and Paperback available at Amazon and the Amazon Kindle Store…
The Next Exciting Volume in the Broken Thoughts Series is Now Available…
Now Packed with Even More Broken Thoughts… Poems… and Short Stories…
You Know for the Taste… *
This collection contains never before seen or read short stories not found any where… Including Strangers To Ourselves… A short story about one woman’s journey through hell and what she must do to survive… Also… included are classic short stories from the website… remixed… reedited… expanded… and somehow darker than ever before…
If you are a fan of everything found on the site… You are sure to love this unhinged… new collection from Layne Ambrose and Is That A Funeral?… Digital and Paperback available at Amazon and the Amazon Kindle Store…
It wouldn’t be so bad If it wasn’t for all the guilt It wouldn’t be so bad If it wasn’t all that I could think about It wouldn’t be so bad If it wasn’t an addiction It wouldn’t be so bad If it wasn’t for all the thoughts of suicide It wouldn’t be so bad If I could only do it in the end It wouldn’t be so bad If I would only let it but I can’t
If I Had Known
I’ve waited too long Thought I knew what was best Knew nothing all along My thoughts they repeat Stuck on a word that Won’t last long All the thoughts in my head Hurt as though made of glass Each one poking and stabbing Till there is nothing at all I repeat the cycle Forcing something that can’t be forced I need something new What that is I’m unsure My future is all planned A future of not at all
The Next Exciting Volume in the Broken Thoughts Series is Now Available…
Now Packed with Even More Broken Thoughts… Poems… and Short Stories…
You Know for the Taste… *
This collection contains never before seen or read short stories not found any where… Including Strangers To Ourselves… A short story about one woman’s journey through hell and what she must do to survive… Also… included are classic short stories from the website… remixed… reedited… expanded… and somehow darker than ever before…
If you are a fan of everything found on the site… You are sure to love this unhinged… new collection from Layne Ambrose and Is That A Funeral?… Digital and Paperback available at Amazon and the Amazon Kindle Store…
Rolling thunder and a heart break Bracing for impact and the after math Shattered glass to the face Blood so thick There’s no way anyone could survive Dug deep into the ground A six foot ditch I’d call home There’s no way anyone could mistake What I’ve come here to do Shattered sense of self Took what was mine and left myself behind A road with no happy ending Stop sign at the corner of heaven and hell Watching the storm roll in
Everybody is looking for you…
Long list of reasons to keep pushing Through the darkness I can see the light Everything laid out in front of me The history of the world built on the backs Of everyone who has ever lived Another step on the path called future Acting out, living my role in a long chain Of fucking useless existence
Bleeding out consciousness… Forever stuck with these broken feelings…
Do you remember what you said to me Do you remember Because I don’t The words slip through my mind Since the day, the day I learned what it meant to die Do you remember what it was like before Do you remember Because I don’t My life slips by day after day Since the time, the time before I learned The difference between death and forgiveness Do you remember what any of this meant Do you remember The thoughts slip on by Since the day, the day before The day before I learned What it means to burn What it means to drown What it meant to actually suffer Do you remember because I don’t
The Next Exciting Volume in the Broken Thoughts Series is Now Available…
Now Packed with Even More Broken Thoughts… Poems… and Short Stories…
You Know for the Taste… *
This collection contains never before seen or read short stories not found any where… Including Strangers To Ourselves… A short story about one woman’s journey through hell and what she must do to survive… Also… included are classic short stories from the website… remixed… reedited… expanded… and somehow darker than ever before…
If you are a fan of everything found on the site… You are sure to love this unhinged… new collection from Layne Ambrose and Is That A Funeral?… Digital and Paperback available at Amazon and the Amazon Kindle Store…
The things we do to each other The things we do to ourselves Vile, how do we overcome our past Failure, every sense of the word The worlds on fire, we are to blame For what we did to ourselves in our name
The things we do to each other The things we do to ourselves Disgusting, inherently evil Incompetent… Every sense of the word The worlds crumbling beneath our feet Shaken, left for dead For what we did to ourselves in our name
The things we do to each other The things we do to ourselves The things we do for freedom Enslaved, in the end it’s all the same Depraved, in every sense of the word The worlds on its last leg Whom to blame when we are all at fault? Let this all go on for far too long Knew turning a blind eye was wrong Did it anyway, no excuses resting on them Say you care, well now is the time to prove Everything you believe
Beg for change, yet more destruction Beg for a difference, yet more destruction Shut up and do as we say, yet more destruction So damned if we do and so damned if we don’t Running pattern of hopelessness at every turn
Born to condemn, no Born to kill, no Born to Born to make a difference through destruction? Left without any options Isolation, suppression Won’t work this time When the enemy is what we are Human Facing our demons head on Is more than enough reason why Laying down is not a reason to die
I wrote this years ago… never posted or did anything with it because it was too bleak… even for me… Things have changed a lot in the last week… sitting on the sidelines with a knee firmly planted isn’t enough anymore… should have been for people to have taken notice… for people to address that something needs to change… but sadly our world doesn’t work like that… no matter how much we try to improve… history shows… teaches us that lesson… pick a turning point in human history… violence… destruction follows… I don’t want to see it happen… But when the options run out… I understand…
I believe in words… words carry power… words should be enough… I don’t want to see anyone hurt… property destroyed… but even more I don’t want to see this blind eye to racism in America… in the world to continue… I’m tired of a great man’s words… only being a Dream… when they should be reality… We have so much more to offer each other than hate…
Please march… please express how you feel… as long as you remember that those left in the wake of destruction could be ourselves… Be safe… be heard with your words and your presence… don’t lose faith… don’t fall victim to the tactics of hate that surround us… We can change this all for the better… together… Black Lives Matter… but it shouldn’t have to matter when it comes to life and death… freedom and justice… we all deserve to live without fear… now is the time to prove… enough is enough…
Been thinking a lot about life Lately, forever, I don’t know What all this could mean to me Decomposing bodies Thundering foot steps Walking zombies Doing what needs to be done? Living or whatever we call it Excuses made up to feel like lies Truth so hard to come by No one is willing to say Not even me Would you listen Not even me It’s interesting the things We are willing to drag ourselves through All seeing, dancing, and never knowing Blinded by our own ever present Desperation, desperately me Who I was born to be
Do I wear a sign on my head that says I give a fuck?…
Tearing out the eyes Removing the skin Burn the rest that you won’t eat A cannibal corpse Built up on lost dreams Cutting out the tongue Removing the hair Destroy the evidence you won’t need A lifeless corpse Laid to rest upon broken dreams Crushing the skull Removing the thoughts Take what you need and leave the rest An empty shell Given up to shattered dreams Take what you want Take it all Doesn’t matter The soul has been sold Long ago
You know that feeling when you wake up and you realize the meaning of life is nothing you are doing today?.. That’s how I feel…
A dead weight within my skin What am I doing here If nothing at all An idea wasted on the living Overspent on the dead Spend too much time wondering When to join them Moving from side to side Avoiding the facts of the matter A shadow in the dark Not pushed hard enough Regret for all the things left undone
Was unsure when I was going to bring this up… in the middle… at the end… fate as it turned out… decided that now was the best time to begin… apologies in advance… there will be a lot of Broken Thoughts… about quitting and giving up… if you didn’t notice the theme already… because well…
I was really thinking about it… not killing myself… though I guess in a sense it would be one in the same… no… I’ve been… well I was thinking of shutting the whole operation down… the website.. the books… the constant need to be doing something… working on something… the grind of it all… so of course… I did what anyone in that situation would do… I wrote… added two more projects to the pile and moved the fuck on… if you were betting today was the day… sorry to disappoint… it is what I am best at…
If you have been here since the beginning… then you are more than familiar with my self doubt… it is a constant… and I don’t see it going away any time soon… if ever… if this is your first post of mine you have read… strap in… this ride only spins in circles… : )
So… there we go… I’m sure a whole hell of a lot hasn’t gotten done… but I’m also very sure that a whole lot has… in the next three months I’m going to try and do something different… yet very much the same… of course I waited to the last second… of course I had all the time in the world… and of course I’m not prepared for shit… so here we go… time to begin…
Taking eight more hours of my life Lifeless spider crawls across my skin Been dead inside for so long Forgot what it meant to live at all Taking each moment as it comes Losing track of each day Is it Tuesday or Sunday? Does it even matter anymore? Building a nest of dead things in my heart Thoughts and memories I want to forget Burned in my mind, across my skin Feel everything and nothing all the same Strapping myself to the stake Living a life without complaint In death maybe I could be free Maybe more of the same Too much doubt in everything Moving on, where it leads all the same Outcomes and differences are for those Who have nothing to lose
If you concern yourself with other people’s problems… They are no longer their problems…
Counting the minutes until the end Running numbers inside my head Roaming clock of gunshots in the distance Loud noises to prove I’m still here Endless ideas to hold me under Went in early the day that I died Only to know I’ve been here before Thoughts written out in tiny sentences Short little ideas I live out Living was an ideas I couldn’t comprehend Dying seemed too easy to be the plan Stuck somewhere in between complaining Counting the minutes until this is all over Don’t rush me I’ve already skipped ahead Pushing myself beyond limits Burning the candle at both ends? Try doused in gasoline
Smashing myself against the glass…
Desperately trying to hang on Fingers clenched to the side of it all If a dream doesn’t last Is it a nightmare or the end? Some days are better Today is not one of them Running in the night Chasing darkness Desperately trying to hang on To this dream I created in my head Never had another choice They say we have a purpose, do we? They say we make our own future, do we? They say so much shit Infecting and rotting my brain I miss the days when nothing I said meant anything Step after step, can’t turn back All for nothing, all that I have become What was the point of this? If for nothing at all Tired of waiting, tired of even caring Drain my own blood and it wasn’t enough Running from the demon, chasing the dark Running from myself all along Where did I really think I was going With myself tagging along There never was no dream, no army, no wall Only me, only my own demons to conquer Been so blind, so misguided for too long Known the answer for too long A dream isn’t an idea A nightmare or a choice Something we are born with Something we must do, see to the end A battle between good and evil Right and wrong Heaven and Hell A battle that never mattered at all The dream is me The darkness is me The demon is me Need to shut up and enjoy the ride Need to quit waiting Quit complaining and enjoy the life I was given The one I created The one I’ve always wanted Limits are for the ones too scared to look past them The ones I have placed upon myself New dawn rises, where I stand Is where I chose to be Suffer or survive It is all on me
Well that got intense… for me at least… talked out a lot of thoughts out of my head… talked myself off a ledge… need to stop feeling sorry for myself… stop feeling like I’m not good enough to do this… all of this… spent too much of my life doubting myself… hurting myself… pretending I wasn’t… no one cares and maybe they shouldn’t… no where is it written that they should… reading between the lines only get you stuck between two ideas…
Been stuck there for a very long time… stuck in my head… now that I’ve stepped out… where do I go?… what is the path?… what is the goal?.. spent so much time thinking this would get better… this would all heal itself… missing all the better around me… the hope I thought I lost… has been standing next to me all along… locked away by my own selfishness… by my own insecurities… some of you have seen into the window of my heart… between the bars… but I haven’t until today… all I ever saw was the cage… the limits…
The path is clear… the goal is simple… failing is not an option… nothing is over until it is done… I’m not going anywhere… so strap in…going to come back swinging… as I have always said I would… and you should…
