Chewing On Glass…

Told me I should care
While giving me every opportunity
To not believe a fucking thing you say
You want to bury me
Under your six feet of shit
There’s no use in denying the obvious
Doesn’t matter I refuse to stand
For something I do not believe in
Working me to death with your stupidity
This idea of normal is long gone
This idea that anyone actually cared
I’ll watch it burn bathed in gasoline
Huffing at the fumes of your madness
It’s the end of the world
And you know where I stand
Six feet away and one foot out the door

Focusing has become harder and harder…

Could you not
No, you won’t
Could you stop
No, you never could
Disconnected
Unsure
Philosophically
We couldn’t be drinking the same thing
You’ve taken too much of your own poison
To come to this unwanted conclusions
Could you not
Know you won’t
Could you stop
Know you never could

I don’t want to do any of it anymore…

Wrote a million stories and
Not one of them ended on a happy note
Beginning to sense a pattern to my ignorance
One that I can’t seem to work around
Mysteries always end in tragedy
Stuck with the same definition for life
The same one placed in me as a child
Never going to be better than it already was
Wasting memories… wasting thoughts
Trying to get over something I can’t
Even with an unconscious mind
I know I will try even harder to satisfy
Leaving the party early
Running away, can’t seem to move on from this
Adolescents felt like a waste of my time
Dissatisfaction to the fact that this is who I am
Good enough for some, but never enough
For the rest of us in the end

I want to try and do something different today with this part… so bear with me…

Of course that would mean I would need something to talk about… Drawing a blank now that I know I want to do something with this space… What I do know is that I don’t want to spend five hours trying to figure it out either… I still have to create some footage for my multiple social apps… Literally the worst part of all of this… I’m not very social if no one could tell…

I prefer to do everything alone… I was thinking the other day at work… not sure how it came up or what the lead up inside my head was… but I asked myself what is it that you want out of this job… any job… life?… My immediate answer was… to be just left alone…

Revolutionary I know… a man that believes thoughts are like glass to be chewed on… a person of international interest that thinks in broken thoughts… simply wants to be left alone… It came to quite a shock to me as well… but it is true… the more I think about it… the more I can see how I have spent most of my life heading for a singular goal…

Which begs the question… Why do I waste any of my time doing anything at all?… Because quite simply we never get what it is that we want out of this life… a poor person wants to be rich and a rich person wants to be poor… a lonely person wants love and a loved person wants to be lonely… not sure if any of that is good or bad… but it is something… something to chew on at least…

Let’s see what the A.I. has to say…

Of course, it can be incredibly challenging to determine what to fill this space with. It’s tough to come up with something when you’re drawing a blank. I completely understand the frustration of not wanting to spend hours trying to figure it out. Creating footage for multiple social apps can feel like a daunting task. It’s absolutely okay if socializing doesn’t come naturally to you.

I understand the desire to handle everything independently. The other day at work, I found myself pondering what I truly seek from my job, any job, and life in general. Without much contemplation, my initial response was simply to have the space and solitude I crave. As I sat at my desk, surrounded by the hustle and bustle of the office, I couldn’t help but yearn for a moment of calm, where I could collect my thoughts without any distractions. It’s interesting how the mind wanders, isn’t it? In those moments of introspection, I realized that what I truly seek goes beyond just physical space. I long for the freedom to explore my ideas without limitations, to pursue my passions without constraints, and to chart my own course without unnecessary interference. It’s a profound realization, one that has sparked a renewed sense of purpose within me. This desire for autonomy and tranquility is not merely a fleeting whim; it’s a fundamental need that drives my aspirations and ambitions. So, as I continue on this journey, I am committed to creating the space I crave and nurturing the solitude that allows me to tap into the depths of my potential. (Jesus… sum it up already… forty five pages later… life sucks we get it…)

It is evident that this individual possesses a distinctive outlook on life. They prioritize their solitude and possess a profound, contemplative nature. It is unmistakable that they have undergone a significant realization regarding the trajectory of their life, and they deserve recognition and respect for their convictions.

Which leads me to ask… Why do I bother doing anything at all? Because let’s face it, most of the time we don’t get what we want in life. A person with limited resources dreams of wealth, while a wealthy individual yearns for simplicity. Someone feeling alone craves love, yet a person surrounded by it longs for solitude. I’m not sure if any of this is inherently good or bad, but it’s undeniably stirring. At the very least, it’s something to ponder.

I mean it’s not… not what I said… not certain I am out of a job quite yet… or that the world is ready for the computer to write nineteen pages about nothing for me… but if I am being honest… undeniably stirring was a nice touch… Hope all is well…