Broken Thoughts… Pretty Good Idea…

This is the end of everything
My ever need
Bury me
A grave with nothing to say
Say my name
Devil inside me
Destruction at every turn
Living in a world that couldn’t sit still
I’ll bring you everything you need
Screaming in place

Can’t see the words through the blur

Hangman’s noose
Judge, jury
Hate myself more
Than anyone ever could
Punishment for sins unknown
Woke up into a world of shit
Born into this skin
Wish I could escape somehow
Every attempt leaves me feeling
Wishing I was dead
Screaming in my skull
Dragging this body around

Spilling shit all over myself

In the shadows becoming something else
The trick isn’t as exciting when
You know the process
Down right depressing
If you only knew
You’d ask me to stop, give up
Save yourself you’d say
Who would I be anyway
Giving away everything
Save you for myself

I need to stop listening to sad songs…. bringing out the best in me?… unlikely…

Merch… Threadless… Books… Amazon… Broken Thoughts… Twitter

This Week Was A Wash…

Yeah I had plans this week… well I did them… but not a damn thing for the website… next week for sure… in the mean time here are some songs that I am listening to… a half ass attempt to make it up to you… as soon as I pull my head out of my ass… I promise I have big ideas… problem is though… it is really wedged up there… bare with me…

This video is so creepy… but I love it…

Amazing song…
Can’t all be weird… love the bass line…

Right in the Soul… (Music Post)

If they don’t touch you that’s okay… these are just two songs that touch my soul… I recommend finding your own… because music is life… and we all have a beat that keeps us going in this world… find yours… dance… scream… do what you need… : )

Take care and have a great day…

Running In The Dark

I’m doing all of this from my phone… So yeah things might get messed up…

Digging myself out of a six foot ditch
Self imposed, Always willing to inflicted
Dragging my toe across the line
Each thought a suicide letter in my mind
Embracing the darkness I’ve tried to forget
Burning down the alter you’ve strapped me to
Fighting to remember every fucking word
You’re testing all that I have left mother fucker
Drowning you in a lake of your own shit
Wouldn’t even scratch the surface of how
You make me feel
Left alone, left for dead, all I’ve ever had is this loneliness
There is a good chance that I kill everyone standing in my way
How’s that for fucking progress?
Spitting in the face of everything you’ve ever said

And it was in that moment that I no longer feared God because I was already in hell

The drinking helped for awhile
But now I’m just a drunk
With one wish
Promise me you will do it
Make it happen
Drive the last nail where it deserves to be
If you won’t do it for you
Could you at least do it for me

The insanity helped for awhile
But now I’m just fucking crazy
With one promise
Promise me you’ll finally do it
Drive the stake right through my heart
If you won’t do it for yourself
At least do it for humanity

Promise me you’ll do these two things
Promise me like you said you once loved me
Promises is all that I got to keep up hope
Probably should have just given up
But no one will ever know

It’s hard to talk to you with so much hurt in the way.

The darkness coming back again
A commitment I’m not willing to commit to
The doubting has me thinking
Maybe this life was never worth living
Sadness only a thought or so I thought
Sweeping me out to sea once again
A darkness I’m no longer fearing to be
Knocking on death’s door becoming more faint
A tapping I can get behind
No longer a noise but a pretty rhythm of thought
Miss the days gone by, the days I believed
Everything was alright
Sinking into a set of freshly made skin
The doubting is all I seem to have now
A sickness taking over, never felt to whole
A Satan’s prayer, battle between heaven and hell

As usual I’m doing a lot better now… Then when I wrote these originally… I’m sure you may have noticed I haven’t posted in a while… Haven’t really been feeling like myself lately… Well for awhile… Trying to get back into everything… Trying to pull myself out of this hole… Some I dug myself and some of it I didn’t… But in the end a hole is a hole… No matter how deep it goes… I just need to pull myself out of it… Before I end up living in it…

Like I said I’m doing better… Could be better… But I’m doing the best I have been for the last few weeks… Not sure if this post will lead into more… Hopefully… But this whole working from my phone thing… Is a little hard to get used too… Haha… So we shall see…

In the meantime take care… I’ll be around… And I will be back…

Broken Thoughts… More Than I Need…

Constant like a fucking child
Driven under
Driven to live
A mindless existence
Shut the fuck up
Then maybe, you’d be right
Tape my mouth shut
Torture me, make me feel something
Nothing different then the way
It is supposed to be
Cut my limbs, nail them to a tree
Same as it is supposed to be
I wish you’d do onto me
As I wished for you

 

Looking to destroy more than myself
Line up, take you out one by one
I know it is what you always wanted
I know you have always wanted to win
Judge ourselves not by what we’ve done
But what we wish to have been

 

Kill myself slowly
Life or what I’ve been told
I hold each word against me
A lie I’ve been told
Loved you more than I’ve loved myself
Locked in a world, that I can not win
I’d fuck you sooner than you can fuck me
A worthless fuck I see myself in
The reflection that I see
Desiring action, desire to see myself
Always been the asshole
A sin I hide myself in
Taking what I want
Believing what I want to believe
A whore I see myself in
Cult of personality, I could never win
Unless you let me
Being drunk is a sin
An escape I find myself in
Fuck you, if you ever thought you could win
A running thought inside my head
My thoughts run off
Digging a ditch I call my grave
A home I hold within
I’m so done, a struggle within,  you win

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Remorse is for the dead… all that needs to be said… still alive?… then you already know what needs to be done.. what there is left to say… keep going on with me… we will figure all of this out at a later time… 

Threadless… Shirts… Amazon… Books… Etsy… Art… Twitter… Broken Thoughts..

 

One Year Ago… From The Heart…

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What a year it has been… a lot has gone down… a lot has been said… a lot of things have changed… I grew a lot in this year… from who I am to closer to who I want to be… I could be a selfish ass and take all the credit… believe me I want to be… but no…

No… all this is thanks to you… yeah you… each and every one of you for reading… liking… commenting… and being who you are… you have all helped me grow as a person… as a writer… as a father… and as a friend… you have all been there for me when I was down… lifted me back up when I needed it…been there for me when I didn’t think I could go on… I could name names… but that wouldn’t be fair… it has been everyone… thank you… from the bottom of my heart… Thank you… 

With my heart filled with joy… here is to another year… a year filled with stories and poetry… broken thoughts and shitty advice… because we all know you are here for the pure enjoyment of words and not for me to kiss your ass… : )

Yeah… I know none of this was dark… but you all bring out the best in me… damn you… 

With all the love a black heart can come up with… thank you…

Layne Ambrose 7/29/18

 

(I’m sure you thought I was going to sell you something… But that is tomorrow… this is today… I think I have links… if I don’t… oh well… I’m just glad you are here today… maybe it is time for a face lift?… speaking of… Great album by Alice In Chains… just saying… best tracks… It Ain’t Like That or Sunshine… but those are deep cuts… We Die Young… great opener… I’ll shut up now… if you promise to listen… )

Why Can We Not Sleep Forever?…

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If you follow me on Instagram than you are more than likely sick of seeing this image… need to get a new camera… slash lighting set up… but I think you get the point… 

Now available on Etsy… click here to find out more… 

 

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This makes the perfect addition to your wardrobe if you are a fan of me… dogs… and blood… not so much if you enjoy all three at the same time… no judgment… but bloody dogs is not cool… by the way fun fact…. that is real blood…. pigs blood… but very real all the same… nothing but the best for all of you….

Funny story… I spent the whole day collecting enough to get weird with… my friend thought it would be a good idea to run it through the wrapping machine… her heart was in the right place… by the time she hit the emergency stop… it looked like a massacre went down in the cutting room… it was a little surreal… what if a machine could bleed?… that was a fun day… you can purchase this design and a few others here at Threadless… 

 

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But we all know why you are really here… for the words… this poem collection… And Other Things From This Time… is now available on Amazon… in paperback and digital… free on Kindle Unlimited as well… a friend of mine Jeanne... did a very cool review on it recently… she even added a little something that I think is extra special… if you don’t already follow her… have a look around… she is very talented on many fronts… her photography is on point… her words bring out the best in everything she does… check it out… 

That’s it… I’m out of soul to sell today… see you tomorrow… for… honestly I have no idea… flying by the seat of my pants… for no reason at all…