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Digging Up The Past: Q & A…

It is once again time to play Tell It Like It Is… and for you to find out more about your favorite writer here at Chewing On Glass… part I don’t even know… of a series no one asked for… but I can’t stop now… (If this is your first time… basically I draw three to four random cards with questions on them and I answer them… why?… no one… including me… has the slightest clue…)Now if I can only find the cards…

Question 1: What Is Something That Makes You Feel Sad?

hmm… if I had to only choose one thing… it would be the thought of me not being here… and not watching my daughter grow up… not being there for my daughter as she experiences life is really the saddest thing I can think of… I’m sure anything happening to my daughter would make me sad… something about being human… but not being there to watch her learn how to drive… not being there for the first time she gets her heart broken… not being there to witness her get married to the person she loves… not be there for when she has her own child for the first time… at 55 : ) … not being there when she needs me ever… breaks my heart every time I think of it…

Question 2: How Would You Change The World To Make It Better, If You Had Enough Power?

Who says I don’t have enough power?… I think we all have the power to change the world… little by little each day… the problem is time… we want everything changed now… and history doesn’t work that way… we don’t work that way… we can want all the change in the world… but to actually change anything takes time… which is why I love history and hate it… very aware that was not the question… so what would I change?… you know if I could…

Education comes to mind… but like history… it too takes time to change… what to learn… what we need to learn… I do believe we are very behind on how we learn though… because everything around us is changing at an ever increasing rate… I mean tech we thought was cool not even ten years ago… is basically trash… if we keep up this pace that is… I’d like to see more education about how to live presented in school… not how you should live mind you… but how to live… medical basics… in depth taxes… the stock market… how to make things with your hands… etc… too much of our education is left to this idea… that you will learn as you go… what if you don’t though?…

I feel a lot of our “lost” feelings we carry as humans… is not knowing what else is out there… there is this saying in America and I’m sure everywhere… So and so could cure cancer… there are a lot of variances… which is true… if they are exposed to science… biology… etc… I hate that expression because the real truth is many of us are… fish being screamed at to climb a tree… more time should be spent learning or experiencing what you are good at an earlier age… as opposed to what you are force to be good at for whatever reason… money… options… location… etc…

Now that I have gotten off my high horse… what would I actually change?… long term education… short term… how we handle those of us that need our help… be it mental health… hunger… homelessness or even those of us who have homes barely… our elderly… social justice… I’m not going to go on some long rant about capitalism vs socialism… but this mentality of fuck’em and move on is a negative effect of our society that needs to be fixed… because it is a fine mentality to have when it doesn’t effect you… but the sad truth is that a lot of these issues actually do effect you even if they don’t present themselves to you directly…

The hardest thing any of us can do in this world is ask for help… that goes for each and everyone of us… and maybe I or you can’t help with every problem that is presented to us… but it also doesn’t mean we can’t try our best to do what we can… even if it as simple as lending an ear… that is effort… effort is action… and actions will always speak louder than words… no matter how hard I try to make these words as impactful as I can…

Question 3: What Is Your Favorite Sport And Why Do You Like It?

I used to like American football… because it is war… and like all human’s deep down I like war… except this one is battled out mostly on Sundays… and when it is done… everything round the battle isn’t left in smoldering ash… death and destruction… with that said I no longer watch any sports… or really follow them… just not for me… I get it… but I’m good… everyone has there thing and I happy for those of us who find it in sports…

Question 4: What Gives You “Goose Bumps”?

Anything to do with eye balls or finger nails… never noticed that none of my characters ever have anything happen to either?… and even if I was to include anything about either… the detail would be zero… “His eye was slashed. That’s it. It was slashed and a finger nail broken. Maybe chipped, but mostly broken”… shiver… haha…

Question 5: Describe Your Life At Age 70.

Heroin… lots and lots heroin… lots of any drug really… I’ll be tripping balls… looking for my blue elephant because I forgot where I parked it… me making it to 70 would be a miracle in itself… and I’m going out with a bang… plus at that age a little will go a long fucking way… I’m 70… I’m on a budget… So look out for Crazy Grandpa… the drug fiend writer that was… and if you have my blue elephant… I want it back…

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The Tour That Never Was…

Get Your Memories Back For Something That Never Happend…

Here…

Chewing On Glass Presents… West End Love for All the East End Girls…

“So, are we doing this or what?” He asks me for the thirteenth time in the last five minutes. “We need to do this,” he reminds me once again. “We or you need to do this?” I ask barely looking away from my phone. “I’ll slap that thing right out of your hands,” he threatens. “I’m sure you will,” I sigh but I’m not putting away my phone. “Look you need to do this. You are in a rut,” he pauses rethinking his words. “No, you are stuck in some ditch in the middle of nothing town,” he declares. Should have thought harder I think to myself. “Well, I’m not stuck anywhere. I am choosing to be in the middle of nothing town because I want to be,” I let him know. “No one chooses to be in nothing town. Someone chooses it for them or they are there by happenstance,” he tries to recover. “Fun fact I am someone and this is where I have chosen to be,” I say in an abrupt tone signaling I am done with this conversation. “Okay fine, I need this,” he concedes. “Now will you come with me?” I shake my head no.  “I need a second you know that,” he whines. “I’m not dragging my ass across town. I’m just not,” I proclaim once again. “I’m not shitting where I eat,” he admits. “Never stopped you before. I’m pretty sure your bathroom is right next to the dining area in that trash apartment,” I joke. But then I realize what this is really about. I have the nicer apartment. What a little snake, I think to myself. “Okay, you have me there. Correction I have shit too much where I eat. Is that better,” he smiles trying to get on my good side. “Didn’t we just go out the other night?” I ask deciding on a different way to get out of this other than pointing out I am better off than him. “Yeah, but you are single now. So, we can go out more. Maybe even twice a week,” he suggests. “Twice a week?” I ask my eyes growing wide. “That’s pushing it don’t you think?”

Before I know it I am driving his ass to the other side of town to haunt the usual spots. We don’t come here much anymore and for good reason. He tries to hand me a bottle from under his jacket. “Are you kidding me right now?” I ask pissed off. “Do you have any idea how many cops are staked out on this side of town,” I bark. “That’s what makes it even more fun,” he tells me before taking a swig. I shake my head as he puts the cap back on. “Just a little pre-gaming,” he smirks putting the bottle back in his inside jacket pocket. “You need to learn to find your center without alcohol,” I tell him. “Yes, Master,” he claps his hands together and lowers his head. Not amused I keep on driving and ignoring him. “I’m seeing a lot of ladies that should be having my baby,” he quotes excited behind the glass. If he wasn’t my only friend I wouldn’t hang out with him either. “No one should be having any of your children ever, Jackson.” That is a fact for a lifetime. “It’s lyrics to a song. I don’t literally want a child, ever,” he rolls his eyes in annoyance at my lack of excitement for this evening. “Could you imagine?” He asks staring out the window. “I mean how does someone like me, like us, not literally carve the child right out of the womb?” He ponders into his reflection. His voice turning cold as it often does at times like these. “Could you imagine how boring it would be to wait for the thing to come out? Then have to actively try to keep it alive,” he shivers. “Plenty of our kind do it all the time,” I remind him. “Yeah, because they don’t know what they are,” he says turning to me. “I take it you have decided?” I ask looking over to him. “Yeah, I think I have,” he returns his gaze to the streets. “Let’s get ourselves a pregnant one,” he grins. His sinister smile reflecting back to him in the rolled up window.

Something sinister this way comes… no idea why I am saying that… as of right now… it is a one off… something dark to pass the time… Tried to keep it a story for the whole family… snuck a few shits in there though… haha… I guess I could have said crap instead… “I don’t want to crap where I eat”… nope… I like shit better…

Fun little one off story… enjoy the rest of your day… try not to look at the eyes as they pass you by… and wonder what they are thinking about… most of all hope you don’t see me… and wonder the same thing… (over produced sinister laugh)…

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Not All Black Cats Are Bad Luck…

Adopt Your Very Own Today…

Here… If You Dare…

Chewing On Glass… Is That A Funeral? Collection…

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Find What Fits You… Help Independent Writers Spread The Word…
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Get What You Desire Today…

Merch… Threadless… Books… Amazon… Broken Thoughts… Twitter

Chewing On Glass… Is That A Funeral? Collection…

Now Available…

Is That A Funeral? Store Now Open…

Find What Fits You… Help Independent Writers Spread The Word…
Two Birds… One Helping Hand…

T-shirts… Hoodies… Stickers…

Don’t See What You Want?… Let Us Know Below…

Get What You Desire Today…

Merch… Threadless… Books… Amazon… Broken Thoughts… Twitter

Chewing On Glass… Is That A Funeral? Collection…

Now Available…

Is That A Funeral? Store Now Open…

Find What Fits You… Help Independent Writers Spread The Word…
Two Birds… One Helping Hand…

T-shirts… Hoodies… Stickers…

Don’t See What You Want?… Let Us Know Below…

Get What You Desire Today…

Merch… Threadless… Books… Amazon… Broken Thoughts… Twitter

If It Doesn’t Kill… Then It Doesn’t Hurt?…

After so many rejections it becomes so much easier to ignore the vultures that come circling around my rotting corpse. Letter after letter. Email after email telling me they wish me well. Words copied and pasted as hollow as my soul. All of this self-mutilation for one person to just be like, “This is alright.” That’s all it takes. At least that is what they say. Who the fuck are, is this they? They never shut up like the voices inside my head. Constantly driving me into the grave.

Overnight is all that it takes and all you need is one semi-interested interest. So, I keep stabbing head. Cutting a piece of myself off little by little until there is nothing left. Then all of sudden, out of nowhere, “We’d love to work with you.” What the hell does that even mean? I’m in the business of cuts, gushing wounds, and scars. I have no prior experience in this kind of reaction. The messages come flooding in. Email after email the tides begin to change. Then the calls start coming in. “How the fuck did you get this number?” All of a sudden you are all there is. All there will ever be.

They say success goes to our heads. Not true. It is fucking bitterness. “Oh, now I’m something?” I want to scream. I want to beat the phone against the desk. “Last week I wasn’t much of anything. Last year when I was practically begging, hanging on by a lifeline, and unfortunately I wasn’t a good fit for Flowers Monthly. Now all of a sudden I am something?” It only takes one, but a thousand submissions later everyone can fuck off.

It isn’t success it is bitterness to the whole process that pushes everything along. Do you think after this sea of rejection you will be receiving anything of actual value? I mean I’m so special all of a sudden? Well here is the material I wouldn’t even put in my book. Here is the stuff I dug out of the trash after I wiped my ass with it. Keep everything. Sold out you say or getting even? Depends on what side of the screen you live on. An asshole or apathetic is up to you to decide. I have moved on. I have accepted that the vultures will take whatever of me is left. I sold my soul and I’m even more proud to admit that I don’t care. Check out my newest piece in Flowers Monthly, and don’t forget to like and subscribe. Food isn’t free and electricity isn’t cheap.

Rejection is never fun… you get used to it… I think… I’m used to it at this point… the hardest part of not writing about… like… for everyone else… is that you will face a lot of rejection… at least that is what my mom says… haha… So what do you do then?… After the bottom falls out once again?… After everything in you feels as though it has died once again?…

Well you get back up and do it again… I mean what else did we have to do today?.. Failure only happens when you give up… so I move the rejections to the rejections folder in my Gmail… and fire off another round of submissions… This business isn’t for the faint of heart… it isn’t for those who are willing to cave at the slightest resistance… creativity is a never ending battle with yourself and everyone around you… it isn’t bloody… and it always hurts… but don’t let it kill the dream left inside… I’m not going to give up and neither should you… and when you get there… don’t forget about the ones that got you there…

Thank you for all your support… every little bit helps… every like… review… comment… purchase… shout out… and even every negative response… We don’t do anything alone…

Happy Holidays… From those of us at Is That A Funeral?..

Still Sitting On Some Cancelled Tour Merch…

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Chewing On Glass… Is That A Funeral? Collection…

Now Available…

Is That A Funeral? Store Now Open…

Find What Fits You… Help Independent Writers Spread The Word…
Two Birds… One Helping Hand…

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Get What You Desire Today…

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