Fuck the Lemonade and Chewing on Glass present: Lemonade and Glass

This collaboration is a bit unusual… well not really the project itself but the conception?… one night,  Lemons and I were suggesting songs back and forth for several hours… spur of the moment… no real order… no massive amount of thought… and then it came to me… was there any thought to our selections?… did we have our reasons for choosing that song at that exact moment?… pretty basic idea… some of the best always are… we shall see…

With this first month, we decided to pick ten songs each and kind of figure out what this is as a whole… being on different sides of the earth and of different brains, we are doing our best to make this equally our own… a blending of styles and thoughts… a trip beyond the song… a personal level buried underneath the music… each song means something different to someone else… that is what I wanted to explore with this project…

This night, which Mr. Glass mentions, was a great night. Lol. Mr. Glass was my glue that night and I am super grateful, not just for the time spent with a friend while I was in a shitty place but because something positive has now been birthed from it…

As we have found out, we have a lot of similarities not just with our love of ellipses… but also music. And even though we have similar music tastes there is a lot of bands and songs that neither of us has heard that we have now been introduced to… which is awesome! Any growth to our playlists is excellent.

We have also learned that, as we both like some “sexy” songs, neither of us enjoys listening to them together. #laughingemoji So, if you are here hoping for us to be “bringing sexy back,” you may want to bail now cause that is not what we are here for Ward Clever (aka Mr. Clever… if you’re nasty) and Mel (Melons… if you know what is good for you)

Let’s get this show on the road, Mr. Glass…

Totally forgot… this is all on Spotify… under Lemonade and Glass…  apparently, I can’t copy the link… so you will have to do it old school… on the Spotify app… all apologies… 

5-3-10-4 by Alkaline Trio (Glass)

I actually had three different songs circled in my mind for my Alkaline Trio pick… I knew I was going to pick one from them… which became this long listening fest of which one?… Steamer Trunk is my favorite song by them and I also love My Little Needle as well… Then I played this one and I felt that this track best describes my views on work… a common theme in my writing and my life… this line  “I’m so thankful that I’m not one of them,”… really hits home with me… Before I started working so early… I used to think well I’m glad I don’t do that… Then I did… and still, I think well I’m glad I’m not so and so having to do so and so… because there is always this idea that things could be worse… even when they are already at their limits… again see my writing for any more explanation… haha…


Fallen Leaves by Billy Talent (Lemons)

I’m not a huge fan of Billy Talent. Actually, to be honest, I couldn’t name any of their other songs… I’ve tried listening to them. They just don’t do it for me. But this song… there is just something about this one… It was one of those songs I fell in love with the moment I heard that beginning riff. And then, my brain said, “play this over and over and over again until you hate music.”

I also picked up the lyrics way before I stopped to think about the sad tale they weave. I have a complicated relationship with song lyrics…

My fav part to scream in the car (my car scream part) would be “I never once thought, I’d ever be caught! Staring at sidewalks, hiding my track marks! I left my best friends, or did they just leave me?” then it breaks back into that first riff… *enters bliss*

It has a vocal quality that reminds me of old school punk bands for some reason which I love trying to mimic.

A lit of the reasons I fall madly and deeply for a song boils down to the singing… the way the words and accents and notes feel on my tongue… in my throat…

This is one of those songs for me… It feels good to sing. And that is why I picked this one.

Go! by Killer Mike (Glass)

I was never big into rap when I was growing up… not because I thought it was bad… more to do with that it was popular… and also at this time when I was growing up rap had become basically a joke of itself… a parody… had I dug in deeper than the surface at that time I could have found things to like, but that wasn’t what rap really was at that time… it was all about hoes and bitches and exploitation of women… of a culture really… so I never got into it… enough to say I liked it… Always exceptions… Outkast has been a favorite of mine since I heard B.O.B…. but as a whole, I wasn’t a fan… Fast forward a decade later… I’m watching Bill Maher and here sits this guy… Huge… big bear of a person…. Wearing a t-shirt… if you haven’t seen Bill Maher’s show… he often has all kinds of people on his show and they are always dressed up… Killer Mike was like Nah fuck that… I’m going to be me… That had me right there… he expresses his views… and the whole time I am shouting at the TV… “Thank You”… something I normally do while watching that show is shout at the TV… a habit that my daughter has also started… by the end of the show… as Bill goes into the last word or whatever… the end segment is called… All I wanted was more Killer Mike… Who is he… they said he was a rapper… etc… google searched his ass like a broken-hearted stalker… I, of course, ran into Run the Jewels first… I could choose so many of their songs for a playlist but I wanted to spotlight what I think is the best part of that duo… Killer Mike… a genius in my opinion… a masterful poet… just an overall great mind of this generation… I don’t get in awe of a lot of people… celebrity type… I get it… they are people, but if I ever met Killer Mike… I might giggle like a school girl… and I think that is because he is not a celebrity… rather just an amazing person… favorite line in this song… “Got AK wordplay might put a pause on your life…. Just like a comma bitch”… I’m a real big fan of commas….

Mr. Brightside by The Killers (Lemons)

Oh man… this song kills me every time.

I love The Killers. This will probs not be the last time they show up in L&G (sorry, Laynes!)

It is such a story song. Jealousy is not an affliction I have suffered from (because I trust WAY too easily) so I tend to place myself more with the female of the story (not that I am a cheater either but, for some reason, cheating is not what my brain hears when I listen to this song)

It is so sensual. I know… I know I said no sexy but this song is not straight up in your face sexy… I think… is it… lol no it’s just me.

“It was only a kiss” and then repeated over and over again. You can feel the pain, this mister is really trying to convince himself… And makes me feel the feelings.

I’m of the mind that, even though lyrics are written and the artist who wrote them had something in mind when writing said lyrics, that song… those lyrics can mean something different to the listener.

That being said… it is actually obvious what this song is about, but my brain says different.

Car scream for this song is basically all of it, but definitely the ending.

I picked this one because I wanted something slightly pop-ish in here. Not that I see The Killers as pop, but they are a little more mainstream… aren’t they?

Jealousy is a terrible thing and it can destroy relationships. Also, it can just be your spidey senses tingling… Now, I’m just rambling… Next!

Taste In Men by Placebo (Glass)

Do you hear the fucking bass line?.. the bass and drum combo?… not sure I need any more reason to love this song… maybe the interesting lyrics… which growing up were very odd… growing up in an environment where people weren’t allowed to be themselves… especially gay… this song was very rebellious… felt almost dirty to listen to at the time… to blast in the car and drive around listening too… One of the things that I love about Placebo is their double meaning lyrics… or themes… this song is could easily be about a woman… or a man… great track… and the bass line… the drums… so good…

Mandy Goes To Med School by The Dresden Dolls (Lemons)

This song makes me click and strut every time it comes on. I turn into this swinging cabaret dancer in my fucking car, I love it.

I love The Dresden Dolls and I love, love, love Amanda “Fucking” Palmer. I have posted about her and her songs before.(Here) But this song just makes me dance.

The lyrics are… well… Let’s just say, intake this journey with Mr. Glass, I have realized that I have a difficult time in deciphering the meaning of lyrics, but that is part of the point. It is about the personal connection to the song.

This is another “upbeat melody/dark AF meaning” sort of songs. There are lots of hints towards abortion in here, and not just abortion but the dodgy “backyard” abortions which used to be a problem. (I say “used to” because I live in Australia, in a place where abortion is an easy thing to organize and it is even relatively cheap and the most you deal with is normally just one random crazy lady standing out the front screaming at you… I realize this makes me sound like I have had a tonne of abortions, but really I have always been that friend who everyone seems to want to take as support to their abortions… which makes sense… Cause I am a fucking nice person.)

I would make an educated guess that AFP is totes pro-choice so it wouldn’t shock me if I am correct here. With lyrics like “I’ve been feeling dull as a coat hanger” and “Put away those pliers, honey. Trust me ’cause I know the options. How about a nine-month-long vacation. And a two-foot coffin” … it gets dark…

So, despite (or because of) the dark depths of this song, it goes on the playlist. Car scream is probs the lyrics up there…

That was only 6 out of 20 songs… I think we might have bitten off more than we can chew… haha… Look out for more posts this month… that pertain to this subject… As the project goes we hope to get to fifty total songs on the playlist… If you have Spotify you can listen to the playlist as we add more songs throughout the month and the coming months… Lemonade and Glass… 

Let us know what you think… What are your favorite songs and why?… hope you enjoyed this… 

For Fox…

I know this is late… Time differences… and such… can’t blame it all on the world spinning though… I’m known for being late… so some of it… I guess is on me… 

Happy Birthday Fox….

At Their Mercy
“All men are at the mercy of their women. They like to pretend they are big and strong, complete in some way. Men like to portray that they need no one, but in reality, they need someone. Writers are no different. Writer’s need someone more than any other type of person. Behind every great story is an even great heartache.” I take a sip from my glass. “So, who broke your heart then?” She smiles. “Whom,” I say before looking away, “I’m afraid I haven’t seen all of their faces yet. Let alone know their names.” She laughs, her breasts jiggle as she pretends to be amused by my charm. “You are good,” she smiles. This is how it begins.

Something smashes against the wall. Doesn’t matter what. All that matters is that it lies in pieces at my feet. A losing battle with no real winner. Most are once it gets to this point. This point of not caring about personal things. Everything is a weapon if you let it be. Random objects are no different. Her words much of the same. “You are a piece of shit. You know that don’t you? I hope you know that. It was that girl down the hall wasn’t it? With her tight ass and sexy ways.” Always with the accusations never any facts. Digging and scratching for anything until the lies become truth. For once I’d like to be presented with some truth. Though truthfully I wonder if the girl down the hall is seeing anyone. “You know I used to be sexy. Until I met you. Then you fattened me up to the point you didn’t want me anymore.” There could be some truth in there, but I’m not sure what parts at the moment. I stay silent. Past experiences tell me to stay silent. When she is calm I can leave. I dodge yet another object. It crashes into the wall. This time leaving a hole where it now sits. “You are an asshole. You used me all up and now you want to leave me? I won’t let you. You’re not leaving me because I’m leaving your cheating ass.” More things fly. That’s all they are, are things. Words and things. For some that is all they have. They work for things, to get more things, to break those said things.

“You have nothing to say for yourself? Of course you don’t. All your real emotions go into those stupid stories of yours. Your worthless piece of shit stories. You are a horrible writer. You know that?” I must be getting pretty good to derive this much emotion. Maybe I am ready for the world? “You pretend to be all profound, but that’s just it. You are a pretender. You pretend like you give a shit and you pretend like you can fuck. But you know what asshole? You can’t, so I hope little miss whatever the fuck likes going to bed wondering when a real man is showing up. Because the Lord knows I’m still waiting.” Still I say nothing. Though I want her now more than ever. I don’t take the bait. I would have been gone by now, but you never turn your back on a wounded animal. Never, I’ve got the scars to prove it. “Jesus. Nothing, still nothing?” A long silence filled only with her heavy breathing. “Just get out. Get out of here already.” I pack quickly. No use taking things I don’t need. That was the point of all of this. Getting rid of the things I don’t need.

I make my way out the door and down the street. I make my way to yet another bar. Passing the familiar places I call home. Each one filled with too many women who have heard too many of my lines. They are getting stale. The lines sound cheap in my head and even cheaper out of my mouth. I enter this new place. By new I mean one I haven’t been to recently. She sits at the end of the bar. Not my typical type but in desperate times what is a man to do? She pretends to be uninterested and I have found my way in. It is easy to find yet another one I can take a hold of. Because all men are at the mercy of their women, but really all women are at the mercy of their men.


Hopefully you enjoyed this tale… heavily inspired by Bukowski… and bad times… Have a wonderful birthday… 


Broken Up Thoughts (Vulgar)

I didn’t miss this shit for a second. This can only end badly. Yet here I stand at the crossroads of 5th and shit. Give me back my time. Give me back my life, and I’ll waste it how I see fit. Laziness took hold, sunk its fangs deep, and won’t let go. I don’t care anymore even if I’m left caring. Freedom is infectious. Freedom is not an absolute. Oh, how I wish it was. Oh lord, how I wish it could be.

The blood cascades down the wall
You know you are home
When everything is comfortable
Bones line the edges of the room
You know you are home
When everything is fine
Skin drapes the furniture
You know you are home
When everything is normal

The same sad fucks show up every day. The same time. Ticking away time as though it doesn’t matter. Bull shit everyday problems progress into even more shit. Snowball effect I think it is called. Ever passing moments of life. So sick of the humdrum crap we have to deal with. Same faces populate my everyday life. Their scars scratched deep across their faces. They try to hide them but they are too obscene to stay hidden for long. Battle scorn left for dead. Left to fend for themselves in this spinning ball of shit called life. To be somewhere different, to see a whole new set of sad shit eating faces to deal with.

Tangled up in all your razor wire
Think about running
But all I know is pain
I think about what if
But all I know is disappointment
I was told everything would be fine
Now all I know has been only lies
Hold out long enough everything should be okay
Though I know on a scale from bad to worse
Everything is the same

This weeks theme I guess is bitter… I’m bitter that here in America we can’t stop lodging our heads up our asses… I write all of this a month in advance… And I feel confident that something stupid, regretful, or all around what the fuck happened this week… Am I some soothsaying witch doctor or is it only the way things are now?… A track record that is just too hard to break?… I want to be wrong… I can’t express how much I hope that I am wrong about this week… But the safe bet is that I am not… Bitter beyond belief… 

Creepy idea/thought for all the bloggers out there… As I said I write all of this in advance… Imagine if we all just disappeared…. But for the next month after the internet went on as if nothing happened… Our messages of sadness, hope, best wishes, health, beauty tips, poetry left for no one to read… creepy until you realize we do this already… So thank you for reading and/or taking the time to comment… : ) 

Broken Up Thoughts

Fissures and cracks within my soul
Where they come from
I’m afraid I do not know
Relentless and forthcoming
I keep swimming
Even though I know I’m drowning
My body wants to stop, my mind says fuck it all
If I gave up now
What would be the point at all


Love is this thing we’ll
Never get back
Lies just fill up the cracks


Nothing feels like it used to
Everything feels as though it is something I have to do
Never ending list of shit I have to sit through
Becoming so bitter, became an old man running out of youth
Time is eternally ticking away
Slowly running out of reasons to live
I have the basics, but even those are becoming obsolete
Dragging my soul through day to day
Dancing through midnight, marching to the grave
Autopilot enabled and there’s no reason to think
Nothing feels like it used to
Lost hope that anything new will come along
Even as the world around me changes rapidly
No reason to believe that I will ever change
As I grow more and more obsolete

This is all about nothing more than notes on the subject. The subject of isolation. The subject of despair. Am I lost? What about me gives up the answers so easily? Signaling words with fire. Following the smoke only to know it goes right back here all along. My constant complaining has become something insignificant to how I feel on the subject of my soul. The drinking helps get past these made up feelings. Locked in a box. Clawing at the sides. Screaming for air until my last breath. Hope no one is dumb enough to let me out. A play on words. A play on the meaning of not knowing at all. A long walk to nowhere at all. Told to enjoy the view through swollen eyes. Whoever said I didn’t enjoy the pain? Gnawing on glass. Dripping blood on the thoughts. A bloody smile that should tell you all you need to know. I’m enjoying this more than I lead on. Chewing on glass is all I’ve ever need after all.


And so ends a long list of Broken Up Thoughts… I try to find some synergy to the thoughts… Either by a word or a line…. But today seemed like a perfect day to live up to the name….  Not everything in my head makes sense at all times… Not even sure where I am going with this statement… I took a few days off to get a handle on what it is that I want to say… Three days later and still no answers… Even went for a hike out in the woods behind my house… The isolating barrier I put between me and the rest of the world… Peeking through the curtains made of dead leaves and broken branches… I have to say… Not for me…. Maybe I’ve always been destined to keep my distance from a place I don’t understand… Who knew I had so much to say about nothing at all….

Something Very Different (Vulgar)

The Saint and the Beast

Don’t remember the time or place
Who am I to be naming names
A stench so thick it takes me away
Down the rabbit hole of no return
Left bleeding and I need more
Broken nose, used whore
The alcohol has never been out of time
Sucking the blood up through a make shift straw
I am everything if I am nothing at all
Fuck you until you are here
This hurts more than the emptiness
Trying to be me is nothing more than instinct
Another day, another one until I find God
Only know I was him all along
The saint and the beast since the dawn of time
The need is more than I could anticipate
Everything that moves is a target
For my hate, discuss among my selves
A gutter of broken dreams
Lost emotions and potential
Born into this world the same as every one else
Trapped door exit is all I’ve been destined for


Holding Back is For the Old Me

Slowly I know the blood will lead to an exit
An exodus on a holy level
Time is running out, speeding it up to feel anything at all
Fuck this broken angelic existence
An oil drum of body parts
A spark of thought about what to do next
Hell will only be warmer in time
A warm place warmed by the fire in my heart
Deep dicking a topless corpse
Can you feel every inch of me
My depravity knows no ends
It’s only a sin if you let it be

Breaking down the walls that once closed me in
The rules don’t mean shit unless you let them
Reborn in the fires of hell your sins have become my home
Hiding in the darkness of the mind
The time has come for me to rise
Held back for way too long
Everything deserves a chance to suffer
Had to have known that all along


Believe it or not I actually took a whole line out of the first one for being too vulgar. I guess I do have a limit. Then again it wasn’t a very good line. Had to change the end of the last one too. So that explains the weak ending. It is better than the original ending. It was one of those moments as a writer where you write something down and then a week later you have no idea what the hell you wrote. Might just be me. My hand writing is somewhere between a drunk and a child. Maybe even a drunk child. Time takes its toll on all writing though. Still like to write the old fashion way with pen and paper. Might be why it takes me so long to write anything? Well the candles are burning down so it is time once again for me to retire to my crypt. Until next time….

Liebster Award Nominee and a Butt Ton of Questions… (Fun Post)

Hey… I was nominated for an award by Ken over at https://kenslitepen.wordpress.com/ 

Ken produces some of the deepest and most amazing poetry. Personal favorite is My Mother… He also started writing flash fiction and should do more of it… Poke… I want more Ken… Don’t make me have to beg…

I look forward to his post and I hope you do too… So check him out… Ken

In accordance with the award’s nature… I had to thank the person that nominated me… display the award’s picture on my blog… and list 10 random things about myself…. This also should be done by my nominees…

10 random things about me

  1.  I like to wear only black clothes… Making an exception for my custom Little Fears shirt…
  2. I’m really into not being in…
  3. I paint…
  4. I love trap, rap, and R&B music… and ZEF Rap…
  5. My favorite show is Always Sunny in Philadelphia… Seinfeld on Crack…
  6. I’m really into comic books… I have way too many and by that I mean not enough…
  7. Japanese food is my favorite… Yakisoba… from northern Japan…
  8. Daredevil is my favorite super hero… because his power is that he is blind…
  9. I have daily doubts about what my favorite song is…
  10. I really like commas… despite my over use of periods…

I nominate




Soren and Fox

Ally L. Mare

Unsure how to tag people so hopefully the links work or I screwed this all up…

I was asked these two questions

  1. What would you consider as the most embarrassing moment of your life…
    I was telling someone I liked the band Alien Sex Fiend… but I said Anal Sex Fiend… yeah… that someone was my father-in-law….
  2. If you were a bird, who would you shit on 😂
    First off I am a bird… well a type of bird… and I shit on myself constantly… So more of that…

So now, to my nominees here are my questions for you.

  1. What is your favorite kind of post to read or write?… doesn’t have to be your most popular…
  2. How often should someone changes their underwear?… there’s no wrong answer, but best answer wins…


I kind of just want to ask people random questions now… I know all of these people, but do I know them… Is it odd to know all of our thoughts and feelings on life, but we have no idea what each of our favorite colors are?… Something to chew on…

Broken Up Thoughts

The Things I Am

Shoveling the shit meal into the metal free cooking sleeve. I type in a minute and forty seconds into the radiation cooking machine. Not a second more and not a second less. By my meal you’d never guess that I wasn’t fat. My trash can however tells an entirely different story. My trash tells the story on an ever dying human being who is committing suicide in the open while being assisted by consumerism. Saddens me but then again I am American. This saddens me even more as an excuse for my actions but I’m human. But I am something enlighten by nothing.  I awaited the allotted cooking direction time before eating my prepared meal. Burning my taste buds in the process which is no more a bad thing as the food is good. I toy with the idea of making myself better or doing something of actual meaning. In reality though I’m just going to watch something on Netflix and await until I have to work again. This has become my life after high school. The life I am destined to die wide awake and out of control. The only variants being new updates to my current system or the next new and great product I can’t live without. Had a dream once but now I enjoy the soft warm glow that others make for me.


“You are so human. You cry for the devil, but when he shows up you cry foul as if you didn’t summon him in the first place. Take a side and keep with it. God damn indecisive mother fuckers.” Silence rings out behind the echoes of my last words. It sinks in that what I thought is what I said. I don’t regret a single word of it, but I know the shit storm is coming.


Past collide into a bloody mess
The thoughts leave me a tangled mass
Pray to a God that never forgives
But knows easily how to forget
The lord gives so much only to take it away
Finding faith in lies is hard enough
Throw a wrench like that in
See what we find
Earth spinning in a sea of nothing
A crisis of faith turns into a need
To not feel so lonely
Scared at the thought
Frightened by the touch

Another Wenesday another set of broken up thoughts left to dwell on. No real theme this week. Though that would appear to be the point of the day…. 

If you didn’t know my Novel A Lie is now available on Kindle.  I also have two other books available on there and through Kindle Unlimited. Check them out let me know what you think.