It Just Keeps Coming At Me…

Signals in the Sky

The blood is so faint
It disappears with the rest of the stains
The cracks of the floor
Each grain nothing more than a track
I can feel it’s warmth
Even as I stare
Watch it as it goes
Drips through the floor
Drips down to disappear
The blood is so dark
As though it is made of something else
Comes together to form a paste
Before drying into stains
A second skin made from inside
The time it takes
Is time I do not have
The time it doesn’t wait
Fine I guess, I suppose
If you’re not me

 

A Long Ways from Home

Driving, driven to think about all of this shit
A mountain, a hole filled with everything to lose
If I could leave would I
If any of this really mattered would I walk or stay
Ideally my ideals don’t mean much to me
Deep rooted sense of entitlement
Think I’m so much better than I really am
The writer and the gun, running out of ammunition
Thoughts seem to go on and on without making any sense
Trading one problem for another, life is troublesome
Taking everything for granted with no enjoyment of the moment
Too many words describe my failures in this life
One life wasted on shit that keeps coming
Words of wisdom wasted on a dying mass
Good plague, the right change in the wind could really go a long ways

 

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I don’t have a whole hell of a lot to say today… shocking I know… so I’m just going to unload a bunch of random songs on you… no reason… As always… things can be found at ThreadlessAmazon… and now Etsy… Maybe I should organize my comics today… that sounds mildly exciting… anyway… here are some songs to fill up your head space… hope you enjoy… 

 

 

 

 

 

Why Can We Not Sleep Forever?…

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If you follow me on Instagram than you are more than likely sick of seeing this image… need to get a new camera… slash lighting set up… but I think you get the point… 

Now available on Etsy… click here to find out more… 

 

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This makes the perfect addition to your wardrobe if you are a fan of me… dogs… and blood… not so much if you enjoy all three at the same time… no judgment… but bloody dogs is not cool… by the way fun fact…. that is real blood…. pigs blood… but very real all the same… nothing but the best for all of you….

Funny story… I spent the whole day collecting enough to get weird with… my friend thought it would be a good idea to run it through the wrapping machine… her heart was in the right place… by the time she hit the emergency stop… it looked like a massacre went down in the cutting room… it was a little surreal… what if a machine could bleed?… that was a fun day… you can purchase this design and a few others here at Threadless… 

 

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But we all know why you are really here… for the words… this poem collection… And Other Things From This Time… is now available on Amazon… in paperback and digital… free on Kindle Unlimited as well… a friend of mine Jeanne... did a very cool review on it recently… she even added a little something that I think is extra special… if you don’t already follow her… have a look around… she is very talented on many fronts… her photography is on point… her words bring out the best in everything she does… check it out… 

That’s it… I’m out of soul to sell today… see you tomorrow… for… honestly I have no idea… flying by the seat of my pants… for no reason at all… 

Broken Lines

Something has been lacking in my life lately
Motivation, a will to live, I don’t know
Not very enthused about anything…

Dead, I’m dying inside to let it go

Sleeping with my eyes open

Society will fuck you with no reason why

What does it take to be human

Working hard to do nothing at all

Dragging me down, weighted down, cement coffin

A sense of worth, the feel of pain

What does it take to be a woman

A sense of belonging, the feel of regret

What does it take to be a man

The idea of existence, the feel of love

All the traits that make you human

What’s the point in the end if it doesn’t matter

My feelings are taking me to my grave

Smile real big, it doesn’t hurt
Does it hurt to smash your own face in
Because I keep doing it
With the same fucking smile
Ask me again, what was the fucking question

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Thought I would try something different… six shitty poems cut up and left on the screen… it kind of follows a pattern… in other news… I opened up my etsy shop… sadly for right now… I will only be able to ship within the US… but only until I get the hang of it… figuring out how to ship a painting is going to be fun… would prints be a better idea?… all a waste of time?… judge me in the comments below… : ) … 

Threadless… merch… Amazon… books…. Etsy…. for art and such… 

It Arrived…

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“That’s when I was like… She just doesn’t get me… Sometimes it feels as though I’m only talking to myself… shh… acted natural I can see her in the distance…”

“I can hear you Charles… If this is how you are going to be the whole time… Maybe we should go home… I only wanted to have a good time…”

Charles whispers “She gets like this every time there is an end of days… Wait where are you going?… Don’t run away… Every time…”

 

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Peter makes this look easy… if you don’t know who Peter is… he is the mad genius behind Little Fears… if you don’t know who Little Fears is… well the link is for you… if you like horror… comedy… odd things… and… art… Little Fears is for you… also it is okay to groan… Peter is into that sort of thing… Little Fears Presents It Arrived

Forrester McLeod AKA Katy Boyer AKA we just met so I’m not sure which name she likes to go by… but I have been checking out her art and her website… I have to say I have been very impressed by her work… both written… and artistically… so if you like art… words… or discovering new things… then you should definitely check her out… It Arrived… 

I want to thank Peter and Katy for the invite… It Arrived… was a very fun and exciting concept… being that I’m no where as good of an artist as either one of them… It was a fun and rewarding challenge… to try to get to their level… hope you all enjoy this special week-end post… see you Monday… 

Corruption and It Grows

Would Like to Say

Smell of ashes in the air
Worlds on fire
No one, not me, not you, no one at all
Cares
How long has this been coming
How long have we been waiting
Revolution not measured in inches
But miles
Decades fall to the wayside
Time lost while others survived
Blink and you’d miss it
Young, the youth know nothing of sacrifice
Though they will after they’ve died
A joke, a crime, criminal
That our own people starve
While our concerns are sent abroad
A joke, a crime, criminal
That we spend more on blowing shit up
Then to take care of those at home
We come in peace to pick up the pieces
We’ve come to sell you freedom
One broken promise at a time

 

God Complex

Going to ride this all out, going to go on vacation after the great fall
Disturbing disturbance your please have become
If I knew the answers wouldn’t share them at all
Like to watch you suffer, Like it all too much
Genetically genetic your mistakes have become
If I could kill the lot of you, I’d have killed you all
Going down to the promise land, going to go there after all
Misguiding misguided your pride has become
If I knew this, Don’t know what I would have done

 

Didn’t Know

The world chases me to the ground
Hammers each thought out
Like a shield of armor meant to protect
Don’t know where to go from here
Gun is staring me down
Each chamber filled with something different
In case I miss, change my mind
Feel so close but no idea who you are
Sharing thoughts, I’ve came so I’m done
How about you, desperate for more
Desperate is the word of the day for all we know
Don’t know where to go from here
The insects pick at our bodies too lazy
To send them on their way
Too busy to give a fuck about something so small
A corpse with a beating heart
How much longer, forever for all we know
How much time, until we decide on the perfect ending
How could we, because we can

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Broken Thoughts

Inventory of Thoughts

Fading in and out
A song on skip and repeat
A rhythm I can’t get out of my head
It haunts rather than drives me
Where will I go from here
Where were we headed before this
A sick sad feeling I couldn’t resist
Pieced together with broken thoughts
Taking notes on nothing at all
Inventory of thoughts that don’t matter anymore
We sit and stand only to sit again
As though we had anywhere to be at all
Given in and letting go seems so hard
Understanding must be for the weak
Tomorrow though will be a time to reflect
On all the things we hate, we hate it all conveniently
World keeps burning along with these feelings
A dark cloud hangs over the sky
A misting of piss and shit fills the air
Beating down upon me
As if yes
This is nothing more than nothing

 

Why didn’t you just drag me threw glass
Replace my teeth with broken pieces off the floor
You knew it it would be like this
So you left me to suffer, Fuck you
I get it, but Fuck you
Why didn’t you just smash in every bone
Replace them with pins unable to move
You knew it would be like this
So you lead me on that it would be okay
Fuck you, I get it, but Fuck you all the same
Why didn’t you just throw me off a cliff
Replace my skin with jagged rocks on the way down
You knew it would be like this
Could have at least done me the favor
From the beginning of this life, Fuck you
I get it but fucking really
If I haven’t said it before
Thanks Mom

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Some deep cuts today… Yes… I am aware… that I missed Monday’s post… I have no excuse… I wish I did… just completely forgot to even get on the computer… Been working on a short story… and by that I mean I’ve written two lines in the last week… so I have been kind of avoiding the computer… working a lot… just not at what I want to be working at… it is a soul crushing feeling… but some times these things have to be done… I’m sure a lot of you have been where I am now… and know that it is only a passing moment… do what has to be done and get out… spend too long and it becomes the norm… I don’t plan on staying for to long… taking care of what need to be taken care off… and I’m out… 

But that means that I won’t be posting as much… well not as much as before… more or less when I can… or when I remember… Hope all is well…

Ambrose… 

Lemonade and Glass Take 5…

Part 1Part 2Part 3Part 4

And we are back with more exciting picks for our playlist… with the power of Lemonade and Glass combined… we present… some more songs… with some more thoughts… 

New Songs to the playlist

Glass

  1. The Package by A Perfect Circle
  2. Beat the Devils Tattoo by Black Rebel Motorcycle Club
  3. Unglued by Stone Temple Pilots
  4. Little Room by The White Stripes
  5. 3rd Planet by Modest Mouse

Lemon

1.      Honest Eyes by Black Tide

2.      State of Mind by Merril Bainbridge

3.      Radioactive by Imagine Dragons

4.      The Phoenix by Fall Out Boy

5.      Everything is Awesome by Tegan and Sara

 

Little Room by The White Stripes (Glass)

I think this track is relatable to anyone who has ever created a large project either musically, artistically, or as a writer… or maybe even as a student… fucking thesis…  I find that I have this problem all the time… I’m constantly rearranging my office… changing out the old whiteboard… staring at a wall… any excuses to blame my lack of creativity on… because it can’t be me and I could never burn out… I mean I am perfect and always full of ideas… or is that shit?…

Honest Eyes by Black Tide (Lemons)

To be entirely honest, I found this song from a video game. I’m not ashamed. Street Fighter X Tekken. I love violent button bashers. I love violent games full stop. And the intro to this game is this song with a bunch of really awesome fight sequences, complete with slow-punching and superhero movie style cinematography. I think I will actually link the trailer so you can both hear the song and see how nerdy I am… 

I love this song. It is perfect for air drums. And makes driving epic. Car screaming the shit out of the entire thing. “Hate…I’m filled with hate, and guilt, and regret…How did I get so lost…Fight…I’ll end this fight; pull myself out…Save myself at all costs…Give me my…My life back”

Beat the Devil’s Tattoo by Black Rebel Motorcycle Club (Glass)

That’s one hell of a name… another life soundtrack song for me… “Sleeping on a razor there is nowhere else to fall”… the chanting is one of my favorite parts of this song… “Everyone is king when there is no one left to pawn”… this would make an amazing tattoo… look for no more truth than this idea… “I’ll thread the needle if you give me the Devil tattoo, I’ll thread the needle if you give me the Devil tattoo”… I think everyone gets to this point… a broken state that is beyond giving in… for me it is work… for other’s, it may be something else… I think this idea that the “Devil” can only be human is basically a false narrative… the “Devil” can be anything…. drugs, sex, violence, anger, or pain… we fight so many things and only have one thing to blame… it is important to not give in to these things…

State of Mind by Merril Bainbridge (Lemons)

When I was (fuck…) 12 I loved this entire album. I would listen to it in its entire length. I still love it. I listen to it now and think “what the actual fuck did a twelve year old get out of this?” This little nerd girl reading books, riding horses and listening to Merril Bainbridge talking about sex, relationships and… how ever you want to interpret this song. “I feel it…Tearing at my soul while I’m asleep…I feel it…Driving me to something I’ll regret” Sounds a little stabby… Maybe that’s why I like it.

 

That’s it for this week… be back in two weeks with three more songs each and a youtube playlist for those of you without Spotify… or an endless cascade of albums locked away in your home… 

Ambrose

Bahahahaha I do not miss CDs or tapes… Alright, maybe tapes a little bit. Yep, sorry we will not be on next week. It is my bad, well, not bad. Just my life lemons encroaching on things again.

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